Ok, not really YOU people. Yet again, the butting in and the comments that I should screw my school over. I don't care WHAT Religious Jews think. A real friend doesn't suggest that someone skip classes to travel an unnecessary distance for yontiff. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
Ok, so, I put up a FB status asking if anyone ***IN BROOKLYN*** can host me for any of the yontiffs that start on Wednesday. This schmuck from Queens sends me a nasty message reacting as if I asked him directly. I thought Jewish parents were big on making sure their kids were well socialized? Wouldn't a socialized person see that this was not directed at them and thus maybe they should, oh, I don't know, mind their own business.
Then he started telling me he would find me somewhere. He came back with Monsey. MONSEY. For starters, I wasn't asking him. I was trying to ask all the people I know but, barely know from Brooklyn. I mean I even stated that the statement was for Brooklyn people. I don't want to deal with people I don't know at all. Most of my experiences, as my regualar readers are aware, haven't been so positive. Somewhere in here, "we're all talking about you and worried" slipped into the conversation. Since when did the Torah permit lashon hara?
I was trying to go to Brooklyn because I have very little time to commute home after my last class erev yontiff, otherwise, there's absolutely no reason why I can't stay home. When I explained this, this is where the line was crossed. I got all these nasty comments about how I converted Orthodox and if he was in my shoes he would have missed class (all day to commute up to Monsey?) because the Jewish holiday is more important.
WTF??????
Now, we're not talking about yontiff itself. I intentionally didn't even consider a Tues Thursday schedule this semester because of yontiff. We're talking about me taking away from my schooling so that I can spend more travel time than I need to get to my home to go to someone who will probably be really mean to me. UGGGG!!!
Oh, yeah, and did I mention by getting involved in this, he's not minding his own business?
Finally, if one more person tells me to try that AWWWWWFUL See you on Shabbos, I'm gonna scream.
Oh, I forgot to mention the fact that he tried to demand that I take down the status.
ReplyDeleteI adjusted my settings so most of my friends can't see my wall anymore. More than just him. This isn't the first time someone commented on something that was none of their business.
WTF indeed...
ReplyDelete"I thought Jewish parents were big on making sure their kids were well socialized?"
Eh. Depends on the circles. Plenty of parents aren't well-socialized enough to even know what the term means... :-/
"Wouldn't a socialized person see that this was not directed at them and thus maybe they should, oh, I don't know, mind their own business."
Yeah one would think so. Circles again.... also, some people have a natural tendency to want to try and help. (Of course that tendency can also be motivated by all sorts of underlying hopes for subtler psychological/social rewards so.... I guess it's a tough area to generalize in.)
Anyway, there're plenty of gracious ways to express a wish/desire to help even when one cannot. (I guess it's called affection.) And then....there are ungracious ways....
"Somewhere in here, "we're all talking about you and worried" slipped into the conversation."
OK, that's a little obnoxious IMO.
"I got all these nasty comments about how I converted Orthodox and if he was in my shoes he would have missed class (all day to commute up to Monsey?) because the Jewish holiday is more important."
OK -- that's really outrageously effing obnoxious. What the [deleted] [redacted] is wrong with this guy??? Tell him to go spend a nice Yom Tov in Antarctica.
"Finally, if one more person tells me to try that AWWWWWFUL See you on Shabbos, I'm gonna scream."
I actually hadn't heard of "See you on Shabbos" 'till you mentioned it.
So.... it's not quite the savory cholent pot it's cracked up to be? Darn. It seems like a good idea though.
It is a general thing about converts. There is something about a ger/giyorit that is self supporting that annoys people. You can expect many more suggestions to get you off track. This is not from people being bad at heart. It is just something about gerim that people feel they have to make into downtrodden helpless people and they will be grateful for the kindness we so generously give you after ruining your life.
ReplyDelete"There is something about a ger/giyorit that is self supporting that annoys people."
ReplyDeleteI have to say, that's a *really* interesting thesis. There is something deeply independent and free-minded about someone who chooses the path of geirut..... maybe people who are less free-thinking find it intimidating?
I can't host you for Rosh Hashana, because we have a full house. Do you need somewhere to go for Sukkos? I'm in the Kensington area, which I think is pretty close to Brooklyn College. Even though I am someone you haven't met, I promise, I will not make nasty comments. And I'll make sure my DH doesn't try to set you up with a 50-year-old.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this has anything to do with frum people or anything that complicated. Some people just interact poorly over the internet, especially Facebook. This is true for non-Jews and Jews who aren't frum also. I don't know if there's a substantial difference in how common such things are but the overall pattern seems to be the same.
ReplyDeleteJoshua, this MODERN Orthodox guy spends enough time online that I would expect him to know the difference. Even so, that doesn't explain the comment about how he's talking about me or the comments about how I should skip classes to travel to some strangers for the holidays. Furthermore, we've been through this, strangers don't want me.
ReplyDeleteI don't live in Brooklyn so I cannot help directly.
ReplyDeleteI did pass your post to a friend who lives in Brooklyn. If I think of others, I will pass it to them as well.
Good luck. Shana Tova.
jerks will be jerks...but when theyre holier than thou religious types, its even worse. I feel ya.
ReplyDelete