"i need an advise i am in a very bad situation my wife is a convert since she was a girl and now she went wild please let me know if i can ask you your opinion "
I'm guessing you're either an FFB or English is not your first language because I have trouble following your poor English. Why am I supposed to be able to help? Because I'm a convert? If her parents made her convert then maybe she never wanted to convert. I can only imagine what you mean by "went wild." Do you realize what the FFB girls are REALLY like? Ok, not all, but many of them are pretty wild when no one is looking. Furthermore, is your life so squeaky clean? You're not cheating on her? You're not on Craigslist trying to find a piece of @$$? I'll tell you, the number of times I hear stories. From my black friend who says married Jewish men are always soliciting her for sex to a gay male who says the same of Orthodox men married to women.
I'm supposed to try to help you? Who's going to try to help me? It's a dog eat dog world and I see an aweful lot of people in front of me with their hands open. Do I look like a charity or something to you? Why don't you ask a rabbi and leave me alone?
Well, I don't think he'll ask you a second time.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many married Orthodox men are seeking gay sex. I doubt that many, but it is news when it happens. I do imagine gay men who follow strict rules and get married to hide their orientation or deny it, but it gets difficult for them. The hetero players are dirt bags no question, but I feel bad for the ones in the closet, as they must live a very tortured life of denial.
Geeez, have some heart!
ReplyDeleteNo, you don't understand. She "went wild" like Belshazzar did, i.e. her "dwelling was with the wild asses," she "was fed with grass like oxen," and her "body was wet with the dew of heaven."
ReplyDeleteThe thinking is, that since you're a convert, you have an especially close relationship with God - see the Midrash about the man with a flock, and the wild animal joins the flock, and the man says that he loves this animal most, for it chose to join him - therefore, you'll be able to read the writing on the wall and tell him why his wife has "gone wild."
Yeah, well there isn't some super secret thing where converts can fix another one who "went wild." Part of the problem is that the rabbis don't keep the standards they claim. I knew a girl who was in the process and got her conversion in less than a year and she was sleeping around. Now if she "goes wild" on her new husband or her daughters do, well what did you expect. She told me I should sleep around. She said if I didn't use it, I'd lose it.
ReplyDeleteSo, again, find her conversion rabbi and ask him why he converted a whore who would later stop covering her hair, wear micro-mini skirts become a drug addict, sleep around on her husband,, or.... is that not what you mean by went wild?
See, that's the other thing, how is this guy defining "went wild." Did she wear a purple sweater when she's only supposed to wear black, brown and gray?
Incidentally, whatever she has done to "go wild" is probably no different from what the "FFB" girls are doing. Look around you! There are plenty of girls pulling down their hair and putting on make up when they leave school. My "FFB" female friends shop Victoria's Secret and go to parties. Perhaps, she is under the influence of girls like that. Perhaps, she got sick of the "you have to be a straight lace while we're whores" message the community gives her.
Also, have you READ my blog? Everyone keeps telling me I'm bitter, so why would you want MY advice?
Who are you responding to?
ReplyDeleteI'm responding again to the guy that emailed me. I don't know what you think, but why should I be qualified to help him deal with his convert wife just cuz I'm a convert. I mean I get his thinking, but I think it's stupid. It's his wife. He chose to marry her. Didn't he get to know her and see what she was like before he married her? Didn't he call around and ask nosy questions of her friends? Isn't it he who is married to her. I don't know him and I don't know her. I learned right after I converted to mind my own business with other converts. The rabbis are always taking girls to the mikvah who are wild when they convert. It's not for me to deal with. I tried to deal with that whore I mentioned and the rabbis told me to mind my own beeswax. Then I caught my "mentor" and my rabbi talking about me motzei Shabbos.
ReplyDeleteSo, again, why should I f-ing care? This man should go to whomever gave her a good reference and or the rabbis that converted her. Ask THEM what he should do about this "wild" woman they made Jewish. After all, is there even any proof that she wasn't wild when he married her? Maybe he had blinders on. A lot of guys figure converts are legal whores that they can marry. I sure know I've been set up with plenty of men who think like that.
Maybe some coherent English from the letter-writer would have helped facilitate a response...
ReplyDelete