Ok, so, the people that invited me over for Shabbos, the husband just figured he'd have me over for Shabbos and solve all my problems by telling me to move.... to Passaic.
Why is it that Jews love to tell people to move? Are THEY going to pay for it? Furthermore, moving won't do anything. At this point, I'm not so sure I wanna try to make Jewish friends. I don't know why Jews think it's best to yell and scream and tell me how to live my life.
For example, let's take the Jews who have screamed at me until I cried... This is one rabbi and two different kollelniks. Everyone sees my problem as I need to do this and that to get married. Who cares? The men are the ones that don't want to get married. I guess people feel like as long as the orphan has no body, then we want her married to not feel guilty that she sits alone on Shabbos. See, ... See MoreTHIS is why I don't wanna go to no body and I want to sit home alone, because people act like I'm a burden on them by being single and I'm supposed to solve this by... getting married. After all, it's MY FAULT that Im not married because I won't move. Didn't you all know that when you move a guy just magically comes out of nowhere?
Furthermore, I am a full time college student, when am I supposed to move? Should I drop out of college to do this?
I just wish people wouldn't pretend they were being nice when really they are not.
In our house we don't pretend. We're just nice. But you choose not to join us. sorry you are going through this. I hope you find other people who will invite you for Shabbos and not intrude on your personal life.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry if you got offended.
ReplyDeleteI think people are trying to be helpful.
take their words of advice as possible suggestions...
They may think you would like to live in NJ...
It does not mean you must do so.
They may suggest a guy that does not mean you must date or marry him.
The first time, I politely stated I wasn't interested. He just made every excuse to tell me to move there. Me: "I attend a CUNY and do not wish to have to pay out-of-state tuition." Him: "Go to a school in Jersey." All the way up to he suggested a team of charity people will pack me up.
ReplyDeletePeople who think they are being helpful, should adapt the SOCIAL SKILLS not to be overbearing and obnoxious. This guy swore in his invitation that there were no strings attached.
How can I trust Jews when they all stab me in the back? When they lie and pretend to be nice and then they pounce on me with their nastiness?
Maybe I should have been insincere. Those converts get treated well. They are welcomed and have the time of their lives converting. People have them over and welcome them and they get glowing references so they can run off and get married.
In conclusion, how many times must I say no? If I am CLEAR that I'm not interested, I'm deemed as a bad person. What about that? I'm a bad person because I don't want to marry an immigrant who barely speaks English and carries his values from his THIRD WORLD country. My bad, we don't call them third world countries anymore. The fact remains the same. They are different from us. I don't see her married to an immigrant, so why should she suggest one to me??
I'll tell you why. Because she doesn't respect me. To her, I'm a convert = lesser creatures = should be grateful for whatever slop is offered to me.
Furthermore, you guys keep treating BTs this way.... it only makes them jump, leap right back off the derech to from where they came.
Michal,
ReplyDeleteI am NOT going to suggest you should MOVE anywhere. However, at a time which is convenient to you, you may want to VISIT Congregation Ahavas Israel in Passaic and particularly Rabbi Eisenman. I have never met him, but I subscribe to and continue to be impressed by his daily "Short Vort". Here is a link to some past Vorts:
http://www.ahavasisrael.org/torah/the_short_vort/
May Hashem help you to find that which you seek.
G'mar Tov.