Hat tip to my friend Rivky who hat tipped her friend Liz for this:
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
...SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Capitalism: A Love Documentary
We're watching this documentary in my Business ethics class. The guy is really funny. The only thing is that he is a sucker when it comes to Israel and endorses those other guys. However, when it comes to what he has to say about big corporations, he speaks the truth. In this documentary he really uncovered Reagonomics and how they were a turning point in the US economic distribution. Looking back, I can see it as these were my formative years. I always heard that if I just go to college, I will get a good job. By the time I got to college, I started to see better. That's why I refused to take out loans to attend college and put a roof over my head. Now, I get financial aid, so things are different.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Round two of the dating maze...
I'm pasting in an exchange from the comments that took place from my cell phone to someone identifying themself as, "anonymous."
Anonymous said...
my response to you as seen on aish
What is a Jewish woman
Becoming a giyores is more than just keeping the mitsvot. Jewish people are different. Maybe not physically although the gemoro says their teeth are. They are 'rachmanim' kind, shameful, and do chesed. And I would add for women more than men. In eishes chayil, she is happy that her husband not herself sits at the head of the people. Reading some blogs one is resigned to the fact that their giyur proccess has not taught them that. Unless they are prepared to work on these traits Jewish men will not come running.
November 25, 2010 10:19 AM
Michaltastik said...
the Jewish people are shameful.
yes they are which is a violation of the Torah.
Btw, why dont u tell me where sexism is endorsed in the pentateuch, i havent run across it.
November 25, 2010 11:08 AM
Anonymous said...
i quoted you eishes chayil maybe you think its only just a song sung on friday night but it happens to be in the tnach in mishlei. Sexism is embodied in the bible being the only reason for womans creation. Because the man cant be without her. No other reason is given. Unlike animals where both sexes were created together, women came as an afterthought. Shameful perhaps is the wrong word and you understood it out of context. 'bayshonim' is the hebrew word. It means not being brash.
November 25, 2010 11:43 AM
Michaltastik said...
most jews are brash.
November 25, 2010 4:07 PM
So, "Anonymous" turned out to be none other than CHAIM1
I hate to break it to you, but Jewish people are not more kind than non-Jews. I would venture to say they are less kind. "And I would add for women more than men." You would add WHAT? Construct a proper sentence if you want to argue with educated people. "In eishes chayil, she is happy that her husband not herself sits at the head of the people." It doesn't say that. I just checked. What I did find was that it said to give this woman credit for her merits. I stand by what I said before. The Torah doesn't support this idea of dumb wives who do nothing but pop out babies and tell her husband he's wonderful. Actually, the husband of the eyshes chayil should be telling her how wonderful she is.
Anonymous said...
my response to you as seen on aish
What is a Jewish woman
Becoming a giyores is more than just keeping the mitsvot. Jewish people are different. Maybe not physically although the gemoro says their teeth are. They are 'rachmanim' kind, shameful, and do chesed. And I would add for women more than men. In eishes chayil, she is happy that her husband not herself sits at the head of the people. Reading some blogs one is resigned to the fact that their giyur proccess has not taught them that. Unless they are prepared to work on these traits Jewish men will not come running.
November 25, 2010 10:19 AM
Michaltastik said...
the Jewish people are shameful.
yes they are which is a violation of the Torah.
Btw, why dont u tell me where sexism is endorsed in the pentateuch, i havent run across it.
November 25, 2010 11:08 AM
Anonymous said...
i quoted you eishes chayil maybe you think its only just a song sung on friday night but it happens to be in the tnach in mishlei. Sexism is embodied in the bible being the only reason for womans creation. Because the man cant be without her. No other reason is given. Unlike animals where both sexes were created together, women came as an afterthought. Shameful perhaps is the wrong word and you understood it out of context. 'bayshonim' is the hebrew word. It means not being brash.
November 25, 2010 11:43 AM
Michaltastik said...
most jews are brash.
November 25, 2010 4:07 PM
So, "Anonymous" turned out to be none other than CHAIM1
I hate to break it to you, but Jewish people are not more kind than non-Jews. I would venture to say they are less kind. "And I would add for women more than men." You would add WHAT? Construct a proper sentence if you want to argue with educated people. "In eishes chayil, she is happy that her husband not herself sits at the head of the people." It doesn't say that. I just checked. What I did find was that it said to give this woman credit for her merits. I stand by what I said before. The Torah doesn't support this idea of dumb wives who do nothing but pop out babies and tell her husband he's wonderful. Actually, the husband of the eyshes chayil should be telling her how wonderful she is.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Generation Y and Their Nasty Character Traits
As my regular readers know, I am a 35 year old who had a long break from college as the need to provide myself with a roof over my head was more pressing than my self-actualization of learning towards a bachelor's degree. I don't know what it is about the students who sit by the wall instead of the middle or by the windows, but it seems like I'm consistently screaming at those students to shut up in class. The more important question is, "why is no one teaching their students and children not to talk in class?"
I can't say that I'm perfect and I never talk in class myself. However, one of the differences, is that myself and others from my generation, talked in mini-transitions, (like attendance or working on problems on your own) not out-and-out during a lesson. If we were ever asked to shut up, it was by the teacher and we didn't argue about it.
Today's college students are different. They are arrogant and think that somehow they have the right to talk in class. Who am I to tell them what to do? NO! When I can't hear the professor because kids-ahem children- are yammering away behind me, I have the right to get mad. So, as you can guess, there is a story with this. I take a math class on Mondays and Wednesdays that is really hard and moves at the speed of light. The course covers pre-calculus, matrix algebra and calculus-all in one super fast moving course. We are not math majors and the math background of the students stretches beyond the spectrum of what it's supposed to since many students aren't even at the pre-requisite level when they take the course and others have taken calculus 2.
On Wednesday in class, I was distracted by noise behind me, so I looked back to give the talker a dirty look. Over and over again, the same girl was sitting there teaching another girl the material that the professor was teaching. It's nice if she wants to help someone, but either do it after class or show the work without talking. I finally said, "do you mind?" She shut up. However, yesterday, I think it was a different girl who was talking, I'm not sure. When I kept turning around and the girl was seeing me turn around and give her "the look," and continued to talk, again, I finally snapped, "do you mind?" She actually says to me, "I wasn't talking." WHAAAAAAAAAAT? I mean I *saw* who was talking and she saw me giving her dirty looks. She looked right back at me and kept talking. The professor spoke up and pointed out that the noise seems to always come from the same section of the class. This is true.
What is also disturbing is that while these two times, it was Asian girls, it's very, very, very often FFB Jews. In math, there are two FFB-JAP girls who sit with another girl in the middle of them. I'm not sure if the girl in the middle is Jewish because her last name is more generic and could go either way. She wears pants. I do guess, though, that she's a MODERN orthodox type, if nothing else, because her friends strike me as the types who would never talk to a non-Jew. I could go on and site examples galore of how many classes I've had where the Jewish students talk and talk with absolutely NO respect whatsoever for others. Those others could even include Jewish students or the professor. It has not yet happened where the Jewish students disrespected a Jewish professor so fervently in one of my classes. Although, when I've had Jewish professors, there were either no other Jews in the class (two classes, ok one class had only one other, but she's not a JAP), the class is online (one class), the Jewish professor is not Orthodox (two classes) or the Jewish students don't show up because attendance does not count (one class).
I can't say that I'm perfect and I never talk in class myself. However, one of the differences, is that myself and others from my generation, talked in mini-transitions, (like attendance or working on problems on your own) not out-and-out during a lesson. If we were ever asked to shut up, it was by the teacher and we didn't argue about it.
Today's college students are different. They are arrogant and think that somehow they have the right to talk in class. Who am I to tell them what to do? NO! When I can't hear the professor because kids-ahem children- are yammering away behind me, I have the right to get mad. So, as you can guess, there is a story with this. I take a math class on Mondays and Wednesdays that is really hard and moves at the speed of light. The course covers pre-calculus, matrix algebra and calculus-all in one super fast moving course. We are not math majors and the math background of the students stretches beyond the spectrum of what it's supposed to since many students aren't even at the pre-requisite level when they take the course and others have taken calculus 2.
On Wednesday in class, I was distracted by noise behind me, so I looked back to give the talker a dirty look. Over and over again, the same girl was sitting there teaching another girl the material that the professor was teaching. It's nice if she wants to help someone, but either do it after class or show the work without talking. I finally said, "do you mind?" She shut up. However, yesterday, I think it was a different girl who was talking, I'm not sure. When I kept turning around and the girl was seeing me turn around and give her "the look," and continued to talk, again, I finally snapped, "do you mind?" She actually says to me, "I wasn't talking." WHAAAAAAAAAAT? I mean I *saw* who was talking and she saw me giving her dirty looks. She looked right back at me and kept talking. The professor spoke up and pointed out that the noise seems to always come from the same section of the class. This is true.
What is also disturbing is that while these two times, it was Asian girls, it's very, very, very often FFB Jews. In math, there are two FFB-JAP girls who sit with another girl in the middle of them. I'm not sure if the girl in the middle is Jewish because her last name is more generic and could go either way. She wears pants. I do guess, though, that she's a MODERN orthodox type, if nothing else, because her friends strike me as the types who would never talk to a non-Jew. I could go on and site examples galore of how many classes I've had where the Jewish students talk and talk with absolutely NO respect whatsoever for others. Those others could even include Jewish students or the professor. It has not yet happened where the Jewish students disrespected a Jewish professor so fervently in one of my classes. Although, when I've had Jewish professors, there were either no other Jews in the class (two classes, ok one class had only one other, but she's not a JAP), the class is online (one class), the Jewish professor is not Orthodox (two classes) or the Jewish students don't show up because attendance does not count (one class).
Monday, November 22, 2010
The Dating Maze on Aish and My Response
So, one of my readers sent me this link because the writer is very much like me. Although, I think I'm much more flexible than this Rachel. I also wouldn't be asking these women for advice because I know what FFBs wanting to sound nice say to converts about dating. I also know what they REALLY think about us. Anyhow, my responses are below. Who knows if my comments make it onto the site.
Ugh! Some of these comments are so condescending. Where do I start? #2, "find a convert" Translation: "get your hands off OUR men, you are NOT a real Jew, no matter what your papers say." That's right, we know what you people mean when you say that. Of course, Abbey went ahead and said it.
#10-Mark, NO KIDDING! The FFBs are dating at 18 and considered too old at 21, 22... how can 34 be too old?
"spend money to look really nice" Are you serious? That only matters if she's getting decent suggestions with whom she can't get a second date.
#17-Cory, men want younger women. Men in their mid 20s are looking for 18.
#20- Mrs. Epstein, Rachel, do**NOT** go to Anna Aronovitch. ****NOT***** NOT*****
Several people suggested that she try to make friends with Jewish women both married and single. I found THAT pretty much impossible. Born Jews will put a wall up against being friends with converts.
Rosie and Sherry, "take a dating vacation" of 6 to 8 weeks? Hahahaha, I haven't been on a date since May. I've had ONE suggestion since then. He tried to talk dirty to me on the phone the first time I spoke to him. Oh and I love the way FFB women think we can't make Jewish food. I was baking challah with women while I was in the process and they were like, "you bake challah like you've been doing it your whole life." Cooking Jewish food is seriously not that different from cooking traif. LOL!!!! Mentor? No one wants to be a mentor to converts and BTs. Everyone is clamouring to "do kiruv." However, if you tell them, invite people over and be nice to them, they get nasty and explain they want visibility.
Now, speaking directly to Rachel, (unedited)
I'm in basically the same situation, except my parents are dead, not in another country. I'm 35. I am willing to date men 10 years older. However, 40 to 45 year old men won't consider a 35 year old with blond hair, blue eyes that can pass for 17.
My rabbi wanted me to go to this dating coach. She told me to wear tight short skirts and too much make up. If you look at the women who are married, including two converts I know who married dafka after they converted, they are the women as such. Men are attracted to shallow women. I don't know why. However, I've discovered this. Of course, they complain about all the shallow qualities of these women. Nevertheless, look around you. You will see who gets a man and who doesn't.
Honestly, I don't think anyone can give any answer you want to hear. You state, " I am looking for a man who has kindness, patience, warmth, and an integrated life of Judaism and career. I also prefer a man who has not married previously and does not have children." You ask, "Should I be willing to date someone who doesn’t have all the qualities I am looking for? Should I hang on to my ideal checklist? Or should I take a bit of a break to sort things out? "
Your "ideal" checklist is a tall order. You have to weigh how much you want X, Y and Z in a spouse against how much you want to get married. My bare minimum requirements are much more bare than yours and I SITLL can't even find first dates. I am on Frumster. I've tried SYAS and the shadchans wouldn't even work with me. I am not shallow and I won't become shallow to get married. That's what the men want. I want to be me more than I want to get married. It is what it is and this is where I am and likely will remain.
The verdict for me has been to accept that I won't get married. I have my non-Jewish friends for friendship. Unfortunately, on the rare occasion that I start to become friends with Jewish women, their husbands step in and push me out. I am back in college finishing my bachelor's that I never finished, so I live with my nose glued inside the books. As such, I don't have time to be lonely.
Ugh! Some of these comments are so condescending. Where do I start? #2, "find a convert" Translation: "get your hands off OUR men, you are NOT a real Jew, no matter what your papers say." That's right, we know what you people mean when you say that. Of course, Abbey went ahead and said it.
#10-Mark, NO KIDDING! The FFBs are dating at 18 and considered too old at 21, 22... how can 34 be too old?
"spend money to look really nice" Are you serious? That only matters if she's getting decent suggestions with whom she can't get a second date.
#17-Cory, men want younger women. Men in their mid 20s are looking for 18.
#20- Mrs. Epstein, Rachel, do**NOT** go to Anna Aronovitch. ****NOT***** NOT*****
Several people suggested that she try to make friends with Jewish women both married and single. I found THAT pretty much impossible. Born Jews will put a wall up against being friends with converts.
Rosie and Sherry, "take a dating vacation" of 6 to 8 weeks? Hahahaha, I haven't been on a date since May. I've had ONE suggestion since then. He tried to talk dirty to me on the phone the first time I spoke to him. Oh and I love the way FFB women think we can't make Jewish food. I was baking challah with women while I was in the process and they were like, "you bake challah like you've been doing it your whole life." Cooking Jewish food is seriously not that different from cooking traif. LOL!!!! Mentor? No one wants to be a mentor to converts and BTs. Everyone is clamouring to "do kiruv." However, if you tell them, invite people over and be nice to them, they get nasty and explain they want visibility.
Now, speaking directly to Rachel, (unedited)
I'm in basically the same situation, except my parents are dead, not in another country. I'm 35. I am willing to date men 10 years older. However, 40 to 45 year old men won't consider a 35 year old with blond hair, blue eyes that can pass for 17.
My rabbi wanted me to go to this dating coach. She told me to wear tight short skirts and too much make up. If you look at the women who are married, including two converts I know who married dafka after they converted, they are the women as such. Men are attracted to shallow women. I don't know why. However, I've discovered this. Of course, they complain about all the shallow qualities of these women. Nevertheless, look around you. You will see who gets a man and who doesn't.
Honestly, I don't think anyone can give any answer you want to hear. You state, " I am looking for a man who has kindness, patience, warmth, and an integrated life of Judaism and career. I also prefer a man who has not married previously and does not have children." You ask, "Should I be willing to date someone who doesn’t have all the qualities I am looking for? Should I hang on to my ideal checklist? Or should I take a bit of a break to sort things out? "
Your "ideal" checklist is a tall order. You have to weigh how much you want X, Y and Z in a spouse against how much you want to get married. My bare minimum requirements are much more bare than yours and I SITLL can't even find first dates. I am on Frumster. I've tried SYAS and the shadchans wouldn't even work with me. I am not shallow and I won't become shallow to get married. That's what the men want. I want to be me more than I want to get married. It is what it is and this is where I am and likely will remain.
The verdict for me has been to accept that I won't get married. I have my non-Jewish friends for friendship. Unfortunately, on the rare occasion that I start to become friends with Jewish women, their husbands step in and push me out. I am back in college finishing my bachelor's that I never finished, so I live with my nose glued inside the books. As such, I don't have time to be lonely.
comparing and contrasting fashion websites
Every company has a company culture and a unique “personality,” if you will. This persona often comes through in a company’s website. Fashion companies are no different from this. The more different the two companies, the more different their websites would be. Two fashion companies that fit this example of being at opposite ends of the spectrum are Chanel and Deb shops.
Chanel is located at chanel.com. Their website reflects their personality. Like many luxury brands, the site uses dark colors and luxurious images. The backdrop is black. Their tabs are labeled: Chanel News, fashion, accessories, fragrance, make up, skincare, fine Jewelry and watches. Above these tabs are videos that begin to travel in luxurious homes. One scene is a glamorous winding stairwell. There are two scenes that seem to be a living room. One actually looks like it could be a patio. Finally, there is a scene that moves over their store. You see the European looking building with an awning that prominently displays the name, “Chanel.” There are no prices on the home page. One has to dig to find the prices that do exist and are only for certain products on the Chanel site. The mood is clear. This is a brand for the upper crust.
Deb Shops, on the other hand, conveys a different mood, to go with their image. They can be found at: debshops.com. Their home page is bright with a white backdrop. There are three alternating photos on their home page. One of the photos shows some regular girls gathered together in Deb clothes outside having fun. Another shows two girls dressed up in some of Deb’s affordable formal attire (less than $100 for a homecoming dress). Finally, the third scene in the rotation shows some products, they are jewelry, socks and shoes. On this website, the pictures that come up are stationary, as opposed to Chanel’s site where the scenes had a camera moving through them. Also, on the Deb website, the prices are prominently displayed. Deb uses pink to accent their white website. There is no mistaking; Deb is for the girly girl. They are especially for girls in their teens and twenties. Their website reflects this by feeling young.
As we have seen, the luxurious Chanel website is dark and sleek with a rich feel to reflect their prices and high-end image. They sell to both genders and on their website, no gender identity communicated. Deb Shops has a website that feels young and feminine, like their customers. They communicate their prices clearly for their value-oriented consumer. These two websites are worlds away from each other, just as the stores behind them.
Chanel is located at chanel.com. Their website reflects their personality. Like many luxury brands, the site uses dark colors and luxurious images. The backdrop is black. Their tabs are labeled: Chanel News, fashion, accessories, fragrance, make up, skincare, fine Jewelry and watches. Above these tabs are videos that begin to travel in luxurious homes. One scene is a glamorous winding stairwell. There are two scenes that seem to be a living room. One actually looks like it could be a patio. Finally, there is a scene that moves over their store. You see the European looking building with an awning that prominently displays the name, “Chanel.” There are no prices on the home page. One has to dig to find the prices that do exist and are only for certain products on the Chanel site. The mood is clear. This is a brand for the upper crust.
Deb Shops, on the other hand, conveys a different mood, to go with their image. They can be found at: debshops.com. Their home page is bright with a white backdrop. There are three alternating photos on their home page. One of the photos shows some regular girls gathered together in Deb clothes outside having fun. Another shows two girls dressed up in some of Deb’s affordable formal attire (less than $100 for a homecoming dress). Finally, the third scene in the rotation shows some products, they are jewelry, socks and shoes. On this website, the pictures that come up are stationary, as opposed to Chanel’s site where the scenes had a camera moving through them. Also, on the Deb website, the prices are prominently displayed. Deb uses pink to accent their white website. There is no mistaking; Deb is for the girly girl. They are especially for girls in their teens and twenties. Their website reflects this by feeling young.
As we have seen, the luxurious Chanel website is dark and sleek with a rich feel to reflect their prices and high-end image. They sell to both genders and on their website, no gender identity communicated. Deb Shops has a website that feels young and feminine, like their customers. They communicate their prices clearly for their value-oriented consumer. These two websites are worlds away from each other, just as the stores behind them.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
He was dying to be a better teacher
I want to thank Daas Torah for finding me interesting articles to blog about. Here we have an article about a teacher who possibly commited suicide.
The teacher recieved a score of less than favorable and his local newspaper, the LA Times, saw fit to publish this for all to see. There are a number of issues here.
I'm all for trying to eliminate teachers who can't do their job. However, looking at standardized test scores? Couldn't it be that he inspired his students and so when they went to take their next standardized test, they were nervous and choked on it. I personally get nervous and choke on tests. I try extra hard to start off the semester well so I'm not nervously trying to pull up a less than ideal grade. Anyhow, talking about me is getting off topic.
I feel like this data could be tainted in any number of ways. For instance, what if this man just had less talented students than other schools. If it were a more poor district, the kids are less likely to have good genes. This could skew the data.
What about you guys, my readers? What do you think could taint data like this?
The teacher recieved a score of less than favorable and his local newspaper, the LA Times, saw fit to publish this for all to see. There are a number of issues here.
I'm all for trying to eliminate teachers who can't do their job. However, looking at standardized test scores? Couldn't it be that he inspired his students and so when they went to take their next standardized test, they were nervous and choked on it. I personally get nervous and choke on tests. I try extra hard to start off the semester well so I'm not nervously trying to pull up a less than ideal grade. Anyhow, talking about me is getting off topic.
I feel like this data could be tainted in any number of ways. For instance, what if this man just had less talented students than other schools. If it were a more poor district, the kids are less likely to have good genes. This could skew the data.
What about you guys, my readers? What do you think could taint data like this?
Monday, November 8, 2010
He's only Chinese....
A friend/blogreader was thinking about making a guest post about this, but, I thought I'd go ahead and write the post. Apparently, a frum girl from Brooklyn was driving and texting, so she ran over a non-Jew. Well, she went to jail. I mean this poor girl. She had her whole life ahead of her. Never mind the Chinese guy... who cares about him? He's not EVEN Jews. After all, non-Jews don't matter, right?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Chicken soup
I had a great mother, but, I have to say, she had this mentality that everything was sooooo hard and places were sooooo far. What in the world brought this up? Well, recently I've gotten into making chicken soup from scratch. My mother made chicken soup two or three times in my life. She used to say it was sooooo hard to make chicken soup from scratch and I just can't figure out what she's talking about. I mean I put a bag of baby carrots, chop some celery and onions and some other stuff and boil it all into a pot. I put a piece of chicken into the oven while that's brewing and in an hour or two I have yummy soup that I can freeze or refrigerate and heat up just as easily as a can of soup. I can also do chicken-less chicken soup either with a powder or pan drippings which I ALWAYS save when I make chicken. They also come in handy if I wanted to make gravy. I've done that when I have chicken nuggets in the freezer so I can dunk them in gravy.....
Oh, man, I'm hungry....
Let's see if anyone other than Wingate and/or Aztec Queen comment on this post...
Oh, man, I'm hungry....
Let's see if anyone other than Wingate and/or Aztec Queen comment on this post...
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