Saturday, November 27, 2010

Turning Down Unwanted Advances From Yucky and Dirty Old Men

Hat tip to my friend Rivky who hat tipped her friend Liz for this:


HE: Can I buy you a drink?


SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?

SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?

...SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?

SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.

SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.

SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.

SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?

SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?

SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?

SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?

SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.

SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

2 comments:

  1. I'll bet you would have dropped some of those on the BP swains, had they not been glued to the royal pain I also had to host.

    ReplyDelete