So, Mr. Phone Date and I have been exchanging Emails. It's very interesting. He said he's not interested in gossip. Oooo, I wonder if he found this blog. Anyway, that's a lie because he told me all kind of business on other women he's met either in person or on the phone. I suspected he wasn't really all that interested in me and that's why he didn't want meet/spend a couple bucks for a light meal. I was right. When I asked him about it he admitted that he thought maybe I was a gold digger so he was keeping me on the phone. He claimed he was at a rabbi's shiur then he followed shiur by (lecture), very nice condescention! Anyhow, while he says the rabbi encourages airport dates and he doesn't know what those are, he claims the rabbi also recommended sitting on the phone and not meeting. We all know that's garbage. Rabbis in the Orthodox world recommend making the date on the phone and nothing more or less.
Anyway, I told him it was very rude of him to ask me over the phone how much I weigh. He defended himself by saying that I tried to defend my way out of it. Really, I should have refused to tell him. If a guy were interested enough to meet me, he wouldn't ask because he would just eyeball it and I don't look like I weigh as much as I do because it's mostly muscle. I have large muscular calves and the tone in my thighs still even shows a little. When I lose more weight, I'll have nice toned legs and I'll just have to become a hot Chani to show them off. This guy replied to my Email telling me that I'm obese... yeah, according to the charts. Those charts also say I was overweight when I was a size 5 and my rib cage was showing. Besides which, a guy who calls himself "refined" should have enough tact to not ask a question like that.
UGH! Are there any decent guys left?
Sorry to hear the guy it seems (as of now) was a waste of time. Funny that many men that I've encountered are so concerned with 'gold diggers' don't have much gold so to speak of (i.e. don't live on their own or don't work much). Yet they seems very involved in wanting to know about my work.
ReplyDeleteAbout five years ago someone suggested the 'airport' date. He wanted me to travel to his town at my expense, though he was willing to shop for a good deal for me. I arrive, we meet for a drink and I can fly back home a few hours later. A lot of work for me to meet up and very little on his part except for a quick commute to the airport. Last year he contacted me again with same offer. Some people never learn....
I wouldn't worry about weight but instead focus on health. If you eat a lot of protein in your diet, typically you do weigh more.
Sheesh.... I don't even know what to say when encountering people like this.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "what do you weigh?" question..... I'm a guy, but if it was me I'd say something like: "Ya' know, my nutritionist and I are working on that. We just can't seem to find any scales that are durable enough to give an answer before they break...."
IMO stupid questions deserve stupid answers.
If he were willing to meet me, then he wouldn't have to ask, he could just eyeball it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it just dawned on me that I know how to look up NYC property records online. I'm laughing pretty hard right now. He said he owns his own home. He does not. The only home owned by anyone of his name in Brooklyn was bought in 1984. I think maybe he lives in his parents home. Anyhow, he lied.
Next time he calls, tell him you prefer more intellectual conversations which he doesn't seem to be able to offer and hang up on him.
ReplyDeleteMichal, the caller may be extremely awkward because 1) he never gets out much and he relies on dating tips from his rabbi, or worse- 2)He subscribes to the notion that he is from "Am Toireh" and he expects a mens' entertainment magazine model in Beis Yaakov clothing who is extremely male-oriented and nuturing. I hope he represents the former as there will be hope for him he may venture out into the world and form his own opinions and world view. ( But you don't necessarily have to wait for him to evolve.)
ReplyDeleteNope, he's not even Orthodox, he's conservadox. He's been dating Reform girls, but if he had his druthers, He would give his kids a Jewish eduacation. Also, he wants a woman with a high powered career to give it up to be a stay at home mom because his mommy stayed home and encouraged him. Mind you he is an age when he was born women were just starting to work. I doubt his mother had the college education he wants from his his dates/future wife.
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