Sunday, October 25, 2009
Shidduchiim strikes again
So, I spent Shabbos at someone's house, as I often do. They had an agenda. The agenda was to badger me into finding a marriage partner. Don't these people understand that it's not in the woman's hand to do these things. They seemed to think that if I called the shadchans and harassed them over and over again, they would actually find me someone. Sure, they'll find me someone. They will say to themselves, "she wants someone, I'll give her someone-someone she doesn't want so she'll leave me the hell alone. Let's see, do I have any 50 year old men for her.... anything she won't want.... maybe I'll call her with a guy who doesn't keep Shabbos."
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I know what you mean, I never enjoyed the "selling part" I wrote about it once too.
ReplyDeleteYou really never know when where and how you will find your match. I just got engaged, and 2 people had suggested the match. After we got engaged we realized how many people we knew in common, that all these other people could have technically set us up, but no one thought of it. So sometimes you need the creative people to suggest people.
So long as you make it known that your looking, and that you fill out some profiles in a few places then you should be covered. You don't have to call every Shadchan.
Sometimes I find it useful to very firmly say, like a broken record, "This is not a subject I'd like to discuss right now."
ReplyDeleteIf you were a married infrertile couple would htey expect you to detail your medical treatments? Not unlesss they are Israelis.
It doesn't matter what you tell these people. They just won't get it.
ReplyDeleteJewish, you are 14 years younger than me. I'm sorry but, the difference between me and you is a world. You're not even at an age where they care if you don't have a good paying job. If you're in college, that's enough.
For a convert in my thirties, they can harass me all they want, but it won't do any good. The men want an 18 25 year old, even when they are older. The shadchans don't want to deal with me for my age and for being a convert. I couldn't even get shadchans to work with me on SYAS.
Besides which, the point of this is that people won't leave me the something alone. Harassing me to get married is not going to get me married. Marriage is in the men's court.