I thought I would take a little break from my kitchen flipping to write a bit about bad Shabbos/Yontiff guests. I was actually inspired by a post I recently saw on another blog about bad Shabbos guests. I have some of my own experiences about guests as both a hostess and a guest who sees other guests doing something.
Guests:
1. Show up. Why do I even have to say this? I have had people that I invited over and they just didn’t show up. You can’t call on Shabbos, so unless something major comes up, you should show up. “I decided to stay home and eat with my grandmother,” is not a good excuse. If you wanted to eat with your grandmother, you shouldn’t have booked a meal with me. I’m waiting for you, even if you told me not to.
2. Be on time. Not as bad as “show up” but, still, if you show up and the meal has already started, chances are, we waited for you and you are REALLY late. A word about when on time is… On Friday night if, a time is not specified, figure 45 minutes to an hour after candle lighting. For lunch, you should daven where the host davens and come straight from shul or at least come straight from your shul. I’ve heard of people going home after shul to take a nap before showing up at the meal. Come on people!
3. Don’t bring food into the host’s bedroom or living room. Some people don’t eat in their bedrooms or living rooms-respect that. I had a girl bring cookies into my bedroom about a month or two before Pesach one year. Even if Pesach wasn’t coming, it’s rude.
4. Table manners: eat with your mouth closed, don’t smack your food or drink or don’t blow your nose at the table.
5. The Jewish religion, while it does encourage hospitality, is not a religion of pity. A BT told me one time that people should invite her because it’s a religion.
6. Don’t harass the other guests. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been a guest and someone else who is a guest crosses a line. This past fall, I had a woman who asked me why I wasn’t at the home of my own family, why was I there.
7. If you can’t remember the hosts name, ask or don’t use it. You’ll look like an idiot if you keep calling her by a different name every time you address her-all of which are not her name. The woman who inspires #6 is the one that did this.
The above actions will cause someone to not be invited again at my house and others would probably not invite someone back.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Where oh where has Michal been?
Sorry guys between Pesach preparations and midterms... mostly midterms.. I've been SWAMPED.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I'm a computer EXPERT!!!!
I found this cheat sheet flow chart describing how I am the local computer expert. Check it out.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Fake-o-dox?
My friend's husband just came up with a great new term. These people are FFBs. They are Fake From Birth....
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Rabba or not?
I stopped to get a water at the newsstand at Atlantic Ave (for those not in NYC, it's a major Subway hub) and I saw the title on the Jewish press, which I bought. So, apparently Avi Weiss is not going to push the whole rabba thing. Interestingly, he claimed he didn't think there would be so much reaction to the rabba title. I somehow don't believe that.
What about that darn Federal Money Reserve?
So, this is some of what I've been up to. Fun, right? NOT! ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz
Sunday, March 7, 2010
What did I have to say about 3M last semester?
The key terminal value of 3M’s company culture is innovation. In fact, in the opening of this case, it is referred to as the lifeblood of the organization. Another of the company’s terminal values is to continually produce quality growth.
The company’s instrumental values include being creative and taking risks. They feel they gain a lot, even from a failure. Persistence and diligence are some other instrumental values at the company. This is what insures that the innovative idea makes it to market rather than just being a light bulb over someone’s head.
The company is very customer-oriented, as well. In the 1990’s, they began doing more intricate Market Research. They hope that this will help them better identify customer’s current and future needs. Operating units are intentionally small so that the members will get to know their customers. Staying close to the customer is an integral part of 3M’s innovation. This company has a very open and organic culture.
3M Corp makes sure employees know that innovation is a top priority. They also provide them with freedom and resources to make it happen. There is a company goal that at least twenty-five percent of their growth each year is through new product development. They evaluate each operating unit on their contribution to this goal. The company continually reassesses if barriers to innovation have developed. The company cultivates both improvements in, as well as new products or technologies.
At 3M, innovation is recognized by two different awards, The Golden Step and The Carleton Society. All of their operating units are encouraged to spend time planning and setting priorities for product development.
All of the operating units at 3M are encouraged to spend time planning and setting priorities for product development. The company has increased spending on the Research and Development department in the last decade from 4.6 percent to 6.3 percent of sales. They have divided their research into three divisions, whereas each one works on research at which will be used at different time spans. Anyone in the company who needs it has access to any of the company’s technical research.
This company gives a lot of property rights to their employees. 3M not only allows, but encourages their employees to use fifteen percent of their time on projects of their own choosing. A policy like this goes a long way in making an employee feel they are valued by their employer. As stated in class, when an employee feels valued, they are more productive and company turnover rates tend to be lower.
As for company ethics, 3M was taking the proactive approach in environmental issues over three decades ago, as seen in their benchmark program, Pollution Prevention Pays launched thirty-four years ago.* They have several programs endorsing environmental awareness. As with the rest of the organization’s organic culture, they involve their employees in these programs. This is a company that believes in uncompromising honesty and integrity.
*Source: http://solutions.3m.com/wps/portal/3M/en_US/about3M/information/corporate/responsibility/
The company’s instrumental values include being creative and taking risks. They feel they gain a lot, even from a failure. Persistence and diligence are some other instrumental values at the company. This is what insures that the innovative idea makes it to market rather than just being a light bulb over someone’s head.
The company is very customer-oriented, as well. In the 1990’s, they began doing more intricate Market Research. They hope that this will help them better identify customer’s current and future needs. Operating units are intentionally small so that the members will get to know their customers. Staying close to the customer is an integral part of 3M’s innovation. This company has a very open and organic culture.
3M Corp makes sure employees know that innovation is a top priority. They also provide them with freedom and resources to make it happen. There is a company goal that at least twenty-five percent of their growth each year is through new product development. They evaluate each operating unit on their contribution to this goal. The company continually reassesses if barriers to innovation have developed. The company cultivates both improvements in, as well as new products or technologies.
At 3M, innovation is recognized by two different awards, The Golden Step and The Carleton Society. All of their operating units are encouraged to spend time planning and setting priorities for product development.
All of the operating units at 3M are encouraged to spend time planning and setting priorities for product development. The company has increased spending on the Research and Development department in the last decade from 4.6 percent to 6.3 percent of sales. They have divided their research into three divisions, whereas each one works on research at which will be used at different time spans. Anyone in the company who needs it has access to any of the company’s technical research.
This company gives a lot of property rights to their employees. 3M not only allows, but encourages their employees to use fifteen percent of their time on projects of their own choosing. A policy like this goes a long way in making an employee feel they are valued by their employer. As stated in class, when an employee feels valued, they are more productive and company turnover rates tend to be lower.
As for company ethics, 3M was taking the proactive approach in environmental issues over three decades ago, as seen in their benchmark program, Pollution Prevention Pays launched thirty-four years ago.* They have several programs endorsing environmental awareness. As with the rest of the organization’s organic culture, they involve their employees in these programs. This is a company that believes in uncompromising honesty and integrity.
*Source: http://solutions.3m.com/wps/portal/3M/en_US/about3M/information/corporate/responsibility/
Interesting angles on the Shacharis Psalms...
Psalm 145: Psalm of David: We will praise Him throughout the generations, for He is our powerful and merciful One. We are obligated to tell of his mighty deeds. He will satisfy the desire of every living thing. He is close to those who sincerely wish for it. If we are on His side, He is on ours. Our mouths bestow blessings upon our G-d.
Psalm 146: Don’t look at Hashem’s people, look at Hashem, Himself. Only He has the power to overturn the laws of nature. He will look after me as both an orphan and convert.
Psalm 147: No human can count the stars and yet He counts AND names them. There are lot food analogies in this Psalm. I think David was hungry that day.
Psalm 148: This Psalm is more abstract than specific and covers the large bodies of nature, instead of more specific examples of Hashem’s praiseworthiness.
Psalm 149: The Psalm evokes the image of an Israeli celebration after they got their independence in 1948. The imagery is centered on music/dancing and patriotism.
Psalm 150: Imagery of Hashem’s omnipotence and grandiose nature. You could call this the “Larger than Life” Psalm. This transitions with blast of a shofar to musical imagery.
Psalm 146: Don’t look at Hashem’s people, look at Hashem, Himself. Only He has the power to overturn the laws of nature. He will look after me as both an orphan and convert.
Psalm 147: No human can count the stars and yet He counts AND names them. There are lot food analogies in this Psalm. I think David was hungry that day.
Psalm 148: This Psalm is more abstract than specific and covers the large bodies of nature, instead of more specific examples of Hashem’s praiseworthiness.
Psalm 149: The Psalm evokes the image of an Israeli celebration after they got their independence in 1948. The imagery is centered on music/dancing and patriotism.
Psalm 150: Imagery of Hashem’s omnipotence and grandiose nature. You could call this the “Larger than Life” Psalm. This transitions with blast of a shofar to musical imagery.
Miscellaneous videos and books I read/watched while converting....
Ok, I'm too lazy to fix all the tenses and grammar to make this correct. Use your imagination. It was written around my first Pesach... six monthes into my process.
I am attempting to make a brief summary on some of the miscellaneous things I did the first six months or so of my process. This includes videos that make for a visually stimulated learning, classes which create opportunities to share the Jewish learning process with others and finally, CDs both computer and music.
Videos: It seems like I’ve watched more. Although, I know I re-watched, “When Do We Eat?” for Passover and I watched Esther Kahn in two pieces because it was due back at the library before I finished it. Esther was a Jewish stage actress. Not heavy in Jewish learning but, it was one of those movies that offered a growth experience. There are some, “what not to dos” in there.
G-d is Great and I’m not is a French subtitled movie about a woman who discovers her new boyfriend is Jewish. She starts reading and ends up going through the conversion as part of the movie’s story. Although, the romance is the main story. It’s interesting that the guy doesn’t live Jewishly. He just is Jewish. She takes on more of a Jewish life than he ever has during the course of the movie.
“Pillar Of Fire” was a seven hours documentary that I didn’t finish. It spoke of the history of Israel, as we know it today. It started with Theodore Hertzl and the Balfour Declarations. There was an interview in there with the woman (very old now) who was the first to be brought up speaking Hebrew. Her father secluded his kids and got them pets (male and female, of course) so that they would be immersed in the speaking of Hebrew.
“The Long Way Home” was also a documentary. This is the documentary we watched at shul. This also had to do with the establishment of the Jewish Israel. However, it differed in that it covered the journey from liberation to Israel, primarily speaking of events that happened outside of Israel and England’s refusal to provide refuge to the Jewish people. Whereas “Pillar Of Fire,” covered Israel and the struggles against the Arabs and England taking place in that land.
“Crown Heights” was a movie about some good that came out of a very tragic situation. After the incident, the youth leaders from the Jewish and African-American communities got together and got their youths together. From this effort, one of the Jewish boys, Yudi and TJ, an African-American became friends and thus the project was furthered with their joint love of music. I’ve just looked at Dr. Laz, the Jewish youth leader’s website and found that he wrote a book about his year teaching in the inner city of Buffalo, where I grew up. So, I have put in a request for that book.
“Virtual Chanukah” was a children’s movie about Chanukah. It covered the history, telling about Antiochus Epiphany’s edict that Jews weren’t supposed to be studying Torah. What they did, though, was study anyway and the dreidl was their invention in order to not get caught. When someone was coming they would put the Torah away and play dreidls instead. There were clips of a children’s choir singing Chanukah tunes. There were clips of children putting on Chanukah plays. My favorite part of this video was the menorahs around the world section. For example, there was a floating menorah in San Antonio, where I used to live. There was also a menorah on the Eiffel Tower. I noticed a lot of Maimonides style menorahs. Methinks there was a Sephardic producer or two on that video.
I watched a movie called, “Focus” which was about a New York couple during World War II. They weren’t Jewish, however they looked Jewish enough that they had to work in New Jersey and their neighbors were out to get them in the same way the neighbors were after the Jewish man, Finkelstein who had a newsstand on the corner.
In addition to the videos, there have been some CDs. I’ve listened to various CD’s of Jewish music. These include: “Behold!” by Vocolot, an all women’s group, “Friday Night Live” and “Shabbat Workshop,” which also contained, “Hatikva” Israel’s national anthem.
In the way of Hebrew learning, I have used NJOP’s “Virtual Shabbat.” This has their entire course on computer CD. Additionally, most of the songs in the Artscroll Siddur can be played and it gives the Ashkenazi page numbers so that one can follow along, thus working on Hebrew reading, very good for when the lessons start to get boring. For conversational Hebrew, I have used the Pimsleur method. I am currently waiting on the next set of lessons at the library. I expect it mid-June. I’ve also used “In Flight Hebrew” which isn’t as good as Pimsleur but, it helps build the vocabulary.
When I wrote this I was reading. “Choosing To Be Jewish” by Rabbi Marc Angel of the Spanish and Portugese shul near Lincoln Square Synagogue. Really, at that point, it was review; however, I like to have something to read in waiting rooms and on the subway. Plus, the stories from the converts themselves were interesting.
I am attempting to make a brief summary on some of the miscellaneous things I did the first six months or so of my process. This includes videos that make for a visually stimulated learning, classes which create opportunities to share the Jewish learning process with others and finally, CDs both computer and music.
Videos: It seems like I’ve watched more. Although, I know I re-watched, “When Do We Eat?” for Passover and I watched Esther Kahn in two pieces because it was due back at the library before I finished it. Esther was a Jewish stage actress. Not heavy in Jewish learning but, it was one of those movies that offered a growth experience. There are some, “what not to dos” in there.
G-d is Great and I’m not is a French subtitled movie about a woman who discovers her new boyfriend is Jewish. She starts reading and ends up going through the conversion as part of the movie’s story. Although, the romance is the main story. It’s interesting that the guy doesn’t live Jewishly. He just is Jewish. She takes on more of a Jewish life than he ever has during the course of the movie.
“Pillar Of Fire” was a seven hours documentary that I didn’t finish. It spoke of the history of Israel, as we know it today. It started with Theodore Hertzl and the Balfour Declarations. There was an interview in there with the woman (very old now) who was the first to be brought up speaking Hebrew. Her father secluded his kids and got them pets (male and female, of course) so that they would be immersed in the speaking of Hebrew.
“The Long Way Home” was also a documentary. This is the documentary we watched at shul. This also had to do with the establishment of the Jewish Israel. However, it differed in that it covered the journey from liberation to Israel, primarily speaking of events that happened outside of Israel and England’s refusal to provide refuge to the Jewish people. Whereas “Pillar Of Fire,” covered Israel and the struggles against the Arabs and England taking place in that land.
“Crown Heights” was a movie about some good that came out of a very tragic situation. After the incident, the youth leaders from the Jewish and African-American communities got together and got their youths together. From this effort, one of the Jewish boys, Yudi and TJ, an African-American became friends and thus the project was furthered with their joint love of music. I’ve just looked at Dr. Laz, the Jewish youth leader’s website and found that he wrote a book about his year teaching in the inner city of Buffalo, where I grew up. So, I have put in a request for that book.
“Virtual Chanukah” was a children’s movie about Chanukah. It covered the history, telling about Antiochus Epiphany’s edict that Jews weren’t supposed to be studying Torah. What they did, though, was study anyway and the dreidl was their invention in order to not get caught. When someone was coming they would put the Torah away and play dreidls instead. There were clips of a children’s choir singing Chanukah tunes. There were clips of children putting on Chanukah plays. My favorite part of this video was the menorahs around the world section. For example, there was a floating menorah in San Antonio, where I used to live. There was also a menorah on the Eiffel Tower. I noticed a lot of Maimonides style menorahs. Methinks there was a Sephardic producer or two on that video.
I watched a movie called, “Focus” which was about a New York couple during World War II. They weren’t Jewish, however they looked Jewish enough that they had to work in New Jersey and their neighbors were out to get them in the same way the neighbors were after the Jewish man, Finkelstein who had a newsstand on the corner.
In addition to the videos, there have been some CDs. I’ve listened to various CD’s of Jewish music. These include: “Behold!” by Vocolot, an all women’s group, “Friday Night Live” and “Shabbat Workshop,” which also contained, “Hatikva” Israel’s national anthem.
In the way of Hebrew learning, I have used NJOP’s “Virtual Shabbat.” This has their entire course on computer CD. Additionally, most of the songs in the Artscroll Siddur can be played and it gives the Ashkenazi page numbers so that one can follow along, thus working on Hebrew reading, very good for when the lessons start to get boring. For conversational Hebrew, I have used the Pimsleur method. I am currently waiting on the next set of lessons at the library. I expect it mid-June. I’ve also used “In Flight Hebrew” which isn’t as good as Pimsleur but, it helps build the vocabulary.
When I wrote this I was reading. “Choosing To Be Jewish” by Rabbi Marc Angel of the Spanish and Portugese shul near Lincoln Square Synagogue. Really, at that point, it was review; however, I like to have something to read in waiting rooms and on the subway. Plus, the stories from the converts themselves were interesting.
Judaism versus the other guy...
Judaism and Xtianity: The Differences by Trude Weiss-Rosmarin dissects the differences between the two religions. Some aspects of this include: the G-d idea, miracles, sin, earthly pleasures, faith vs. law and J. I intend to mix book summary with personal experience to discuss this topic. Therefore some may find things in this discussion that are not in the book.
The Jewish G-d idea is monotheistic. The Xtian G-d is the trinity. If you talk to a Xtian, they will tell you they are monotheistic, however this is not accurate. Their argument is that G-d takes three different forms but, that it’s still one G-d. However, one of these forms is supposed to be a human form. If you take that away, there can be no “father” and thus you just get one G-d. A kindergarten math lesson would tell you that if you take away two so that you get one, you did not start with one, but three. Not too mention, if G-d is Omnipotent and Eternal how can He allow Himself to take a form that is power-restricted and transitory?
In Judaism, miracles are a foot note. In Xtianity, especially Catholicism, they are central to the religion. Weiss-Rosmarin points out that many have been duplicated by “black magic.” Thus, they do not seem to be that great of a litmus test upon which someone would base their faith in which version of G-d is our Creator. Another point to be made is that if faith is more important than works in Xtianity, why then, do they need their god to prove himself to them? What happened to the importance of faith?
In Judaism, sin is the result of choices made against G-d’s will. You atone for it by changing your behavior or asking for forgiveness and meaning it. In Xtianity, sin is something with which you are born in your soul. You atone for it by belief in J who was god’s son and also god, according to them. This god was then crucified for everyone’s sins. How can G-d be Eternal and yet die? How can G-d hate the sacrifice of one’s children and yet do what he hates? Does it make sense for an Omnipotent being to do what he hates?
In Judaism, earthly pleasures are something G-d gave us to enjoy while we are here, in moderation. In Xtianity, the ideal is the monk living in the mountains having given everything up. He does not get married and have kids. He has no money. He does not wear nice clothes. He does not eat steak or hot fudge sundaes. He does not drive a convertible on a sunny day with the wind in his hair. The only thing he gets that the Jewish guy does not get is a ham and cheese sandwich. Is this a sensible trade off?
In Judaism, the law rules over faith. In Xtianity, faith rules over law. At least that’s how it seems on the surface. The author of this paper sees it another way. In Judaism, you follow the law that the Creator laid down for you because you have faith. If you didn’t have faith, you would not think that He gave the Torah, so you would just do what you want, no? In Xtianity, they work on faith. They are on step one. The Jews are on step two.
In Judaism, views of J vary. Some hold that he is a false prophet. Some say that he was a rabbi. Most certainly, he was a mortal. The author of this paper has nicknamed him
”the hustler,” because those who believe in him have obviously been hustled. In Xtianity, he is the cornerstone of the religion. He is god-incarnate. He was both god and a mortal. Again, how can a mortal also be god?
In conclusion, Judaism is obviously a more advanced religion. Jews can do math and grasp that one god minus two gods equals negative one for the religion. Jews do not need miracles to prove their faith. The Jewish G-d does not call His People “sinner” until the sin has happened. The Jews are encouraged to enjoy life (with proper moderation.) The Jews follow the law since faith is already there. Additionally, J was not our Eternal G-d, since he was not eternal, he was a mortal.
The Jewish G-d idea is monotheistic. The Xtian G-d is the trinity. If you talk to a Xtian, they will tell you they are monotheistic, however this is not accurate. Their argument is that G-d takes three different forms but, that it’s still one G-d. However, one of these forms is supposed to be a human form. If you take that away, there can be no “father” and thus you just get one G-d. A kindergarten math lesson would tell you that if you take away two so that you get one, you did not start with one, but three. Not too mention, if G-d is Omnipotent and Eternal how can He allow Himself to take a form that is power-restricted and transitory?
In Judaism, miracles are a foot note. In Xtianity, especially Catholicism, they are central to the religion. Weiss-Rosmarin points out that many have been duplicated by “black magic.” Thus, they do not seem to be that great of a litmus test upon which someone would base their faith in which version of G-d is our Creator. Another point to be made is that if faith is more important than works in Xtianity, why then, do they need their god to prove himself to them? What happened to the importance of faith?
In Judaism, sin is the result of choices made against G-d’s will. You atone for it by changing your behavior or asking for forgiveness and meaning it. In Xtianity, sin is something with which you are born in your soul. You atone for it by belief in J who was god’s son and also god, according to them. This god was then crucified for everyone’s sins. How can G-d be Eternal and yet die? How can G-d hate the sacrifice of one’s children and yet do what he hates? Does it make sense for an Omnipotent being to do what he hates?
In Judaism, earthly pleasures are something G-d gave us to enjoy while we are here, in moderation. In Xtianity, the ideal is the monk living in the mountains having given everything up. He does not get married and have kids. He has no money. He does not wear nice clothes. He does not eat steak or hot fudge sundaes. He does not drive a convertible on a sunny day with the wind in his hair. The only thing he gets that the Jewish guy does not get is a ham and cheese sandwich. Is this a sensible trade off?
In Judaism, the law rules over faith. In Xtianity, faith rules over law. At least that’s how it seems on the surface. The author of this paper sees it another way. In Judaism, you follow the law that the Creator laid down for you because you have faith. If you didn’t have faith, you would not think that He gave the Torah, so you would just do what you want, no? In Xtianity, they work on faith. They are on step one. The Jews are on step two.
In Judaism, views of J vary. Some hold that he is a false prophet. Some say that he was a rabbi. Most certainly, he was a mortal. The author of this paper has nicknamed him
”the hustler,” because those who believe in him have obviously been hustled. In Xtianity, he is the cornerstone of the religion. He is god-incarnate. He was both god and a mortal. Again, how can a mortal also be god?
In conclusion, Judaism is obviously a more advanced religion. Jews can do math and grasp that one god minus two gods equals negative one for the religion. Jews do not need miracles to prove their faith. The Jewish G-d does not call His People “sinner” until the sin has happened. The Jews are encouraged to enjoy life (with proper moderation.) The Jews follow the law since faith is already there. Additionally, J was not our Eternal G-d, since he was not eternal, he was a mortal.
From my old stand up routine...
Some of it had to be edited out, either because it has to be performed or because it wasn't appropriate for someone who's become a religious Jewish girl to post....
I have to warn you up front…. I may be a little hyper tonight… I you see… I…. um…. Well… I couldn’t find my Ritalin before I came.
Guys and their bad pick up lines crack me up. I’m at the Laundromat folding a sheet. This guy asked me if I was going to Atlanta. Yes, because they only use sheets in Atlanta, so, if I’m folding one, I must be going there…. imagine look-90 percent perplexed, 10 percent annoyed.
This guy sent me several Emails asking me to call him because he said he was too technically-challenged for Email. But, he was able to send those Emails. But, hey, I’m blonde, I couldn’t possibly figure out what he was up to.
Some advice to the ladies: When guys ask where your father is, they are about to run game on you. They want to make sure he’s not around to have your back. I like to tell them, “don’t worry about where he is. I was in the Army and I know how to shoot an M16. It's me you have to worry about.” At which point they usually walk away. Some who are particularly dumb, don't get it and I walk away.
Or how about when you're walking down the street at night and the men drive real slow next to you? "I have your license plate number and I'm calling the cops." ZOOOOM, they take off.
For the Latin crowd: Don’t you love when white people try to speak Spanish? Yo hablo es-pan-olo The "H" in "hablo" of course being pronounced.
I may be a cracker…. But I’m not a boring WHITE cracker…. Like a saltine…. A chez-it is much more accurate choice. Since I’m a cheesy cracker myself.
I have to warn you up front…. I may be a little hyper tonight… I you see… I…. um…. Well… I couldn’t find my Ritalin before I came.
Guys and their bad pick up lines crack me up. I’m at the Laundromat folding a sheet. This guy asked me if I was going to Atlanta. Yes, because they only use sheets in Atlanta, so, if I’m folding one, I must be going there…. imagine look-90 percent perplexed, 10 percent annoyed.
This guy sent me several Emails asking me to call him because he said he was too technically-challenged for Email. But, he was able to send those Emails. But, hey, I’m blonde, I couldn’t possibly figure out what he was up to.
Some advice to the ladies: When guys ask where your father is, they are about to run game on you. They want to make sure he’s not around to have your back. I like to tell them, “don’t worry about where he is. I was in the Army and I know how to shoot an M16. It's me you have to worry about.” At which point they usually walk away. Some who are particularly dumb, don't get it and I walk away.
Or how about when you're walking down the street at night and the men drive real slow next to you? "I have your license plate number and I'm calling the cops." ZOOOOM, they take off.
For the Latin crowd: Don’t you love when white people try to speak Spanish? Yo hablo es-pan-olo The "H" in "hablo" of course being pronounced.
I may be a cracker…. But I’m not a boring WHITE cracker…. Like a saltine…. A chez-it is much more accurate choice. Since I’m a cheesy cracker myself.
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