Hi, recently I was talking to a single girl who wanted to try to make me a match and she told me to lie about my age. She said she had heard this from the rabbis. After all, the men want younger... This might make a good solution to my problem. I could just shave a good 10 to 15 years off my age. All of the sudden the guys my age who turn me down now because I'm too old, will want me. Age is just a number... right?
Though, I just have this nagging thing about lying....
Should I lie about my age?
Girls, do you lie about your age?
Guys, would you drop a girl if you were engaged and found out she had lied about her age?
I mean, it would come out, eventually, right?
I dont think its smart. I would drop her. I mean, the entire thing was built on false pretenses. (Btw, my parents had something like that happen. The Shadchan knocked a year off my moms age. The thing was, my father only found out a few days before the wedding, it was the shadchan that had lied not my mother. He asked her when she would be turning 21, and she got all confused. Turns out, she was only 19, she told that to my father straight up, she had no clue that the shadchan had lied about her age).
ReplyDeleteThe Shadchan made her OLDER???
ReplyDeleteI told the girl, "just leave my age off and send pictures and tell him I'm graduating college this semester. You're not lying and he probably won't ask. He'll just assume I'm in my early twenties." I have passed for half my age. I don't wear crap on my face so it keeps my skin young.
The thing is that I wouldn't do something like this but this post seminary BY girl told me that she heard older singles are told to do this... by the shadchans or the rabbis, I forget. I thought it would make a good topic.
ReplyDeleteThe shadchan knew that my father wouldnt go out with anyone under twenty. He had some very good reasons for that, which proved correct later on.
ReplyDeleteTo knock a year of, can be done, but posing for half your age, imagine how duped the guy would feel. Unless you plan on living your whole life a sham.
I have the same issue as I do look younger than my age as well. I'm 30s, but many people often take 10 years off my age. I sometimes do get carded when buying wine. I don't wear a lot of make-up and stay out of sun. I have good genes too--mom in her early 60s looks better (very few wrinkles)than many sun baked women in their 40s.
ReplyDeleteI do not like when much older men lie about age/religious level/income/etc. and they are in actuality beyond what I feel comfortable. I feel cheated and my time was wasted when it's happened. Nor do I like being pressure out of my comfort zone either, so I respect that men have their standards even though I don't feel they are reasonable. So I would not recommend lying to a man about my age even though it means I, and other women like me miss out. I see on Frumster and other sites when in their 40s and 50s complain about the same thing--their counterparts want thirtysomething women.
The men I know in their 30s, get along well (at community events, shabbos meals, and just out and about) and otherwise would be a great match are looking to date women in their 20s. It's not just me thinking that, there are several guys that 5+ people each have independently tried to set me up with, but they won't budge. That's just people that have told me. Not even for a simple date or two to try things out.
They've made it clear they want accomplished and mature twentysomethings who often don't share their interest or goals, it's just that they are younger. My friends in their early to mid 20s that same men are interested in want men in their early to late 20s and have mutual goals and interests on a similar time line (i.e. like finishing grad school, starting career, not being well into one).
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.