Over on Emes V'Emunah, Rabbi Maryles posed three questions to gerim and balei teshuvos which he got from the Beyond Teshuvah blog.
1) What inspired you to become frum/Jewish?
2) How have your friends and family accepted this?
3) How do we deal with Shidduchim?
1) My full story can be found on the blog, go to the labels and you'll find one for something like my story and you'll see. The short version is that I don't do human G-d and so I looked into Judaism. A lot of what I read about the way Jewish people are supposed to be reminded me of how my blessed mother raised me to be.
2) My mother had already been long gone when I started the process. My sister and I had stopped speaking many years prior. My father was happy I wasn't going to try to evangelize him and he thought it was a pain that I couldn't just eat anywhere with him. I only actually saw him twice while I was in the process. He got diagnosed with cancer right after I last saw him. When I started my conversion, I was acting so most of my friends were people from the acting world and so those friendships sort of faded away and my life changed. Of my two good friends who I still speak to, rightfully so, they don't understand why I'm here and put up with the abuse from the community members. One friend says that it's a classist thing and that I'm not accepted because Jews are snobs. Unfortunately, I think she's right. I have dealt with it by withdrawing from the Jewish community. I don't really interact with Jews anymore-aside from Aztec Queen, who is a truly wonderful Jewish woman with a heart of gold.
3) I've dated a little through friends, shadchans, Saw You At Sinai, Frumster and meeting guys in person. I didn't expect to have so many problems since men were all over me before I converted. I'm pretty with blonde hair and blue eyes. I find supposedly Orthodox men to be after sex just as much as secular guys.
There is a path in Torah which can lead to attachment with God. But this path is lonely and fraught with obstacles. There is no guarantee that anyone that is supposedly following the Torah path is actually attached with God. In fact human nature being what it is --most people in the Torah path are probably just plain bourgeois and advocating a kind of self swerving morality. But that does not mean that you can succeed in coming close to God through Torah. Perhaps i could recommend reading the great books of Torah which i think are the tenach, Talmud Isaac Luria, Rebbi Nachman. I know that books can be used to hide behind as you have noticed in the orthodox world. But "abuse" does not cancel "use".
ReplyDelete"I have dealt with it by withdrawing from the Jewish community."
ReplyDeleteThat's really painful to read; it must have been even more painful to write.
BTW, did your acting career ever come up when talking with the conversion rabbis? Did they say anything about it?
chaim1 says
ReplyDeleteI am not on frumster. I am married. Since I am not a member there (I have no reason to pay them to become one)I have no idea what this other chaim1 has to say about women. So your opinion of me which is based on what you read there is totally false. Yes R Maryles will not print anything about geirim like you for fear of upsetting them. An example, I wrote that hashem promised Abraham that his seed would multiply like the stars etc. He didnt mean geirim. This he considered offensive and would not print. I must add that some say all geirim were originally from him and got 'lost'. So unless you disassociate me from frumster I cannot reply to you about your non Jewish attitude to marriage.
And if you don't mind my asking, was the Noachide option brought up when you considered converting? Just curious, what made Judaism more compelling for you?
ReplyDeleteYawn! Yes.
ReplyDeletewell, there's two chaim 1s the exact same age-53 and location-England..... You should find him and have him over for Shabbos... he's your long lost cousin...
ReplyDeletechaim1 says
ReplyDeleteI am not aged 53. How do you find out the age of your posters.
Chaim 1
ReplyDelete53, Male
London, United Kingdom
Divorced, without children
Yeshivish Black Hat
From a religious family
Ashkenazi
this is his description there. Which they tell me without paying.
Perhaps you can tell me more about him. And then I will be able to find him.
Tell me what particulars he writes about himself in messages.
Apparently, you forget that you told me your screen name on YouTube, which has that info :-P
ReplyDeletechaim1 says
ReplyDeleteI did forget. One cannot change ones age on YouTube and I must have specially given the wrong date. I have stopped displaying it. I must remind you that whatever other things you may find about me on the net is unlikely to be true since I want to remain anonymous and will never volunteer correct personal information about myself.
What a troll!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment!
so, why shouldnt i think u lied about your marital status?
ReplyDelete"'Michal: This character 'Chaim1' has a real attitude problem, and harasses people all over the place, both on my blog and other websites like Frumster.'
ReplyDelete'Chaim1: I'm not harassing anyone. I would never even be on Frumster! That's crazy -- I'm married for goodness sake!!'
'Michal: Chaim1, you already gave me your matching ages, locations and divorced marital status. And "both" of you have the same screen name and write in the same voice.'
'Chaim1: Oh, please! Why would you even claim to know facts like those?!!'
'Michal: Because you sent me to your profile -- remember?'
'Chaim1: Uhhhhh..... oh darn, yeah. I guess I kinda did.... Hmmmmm..... OK, maybe you could, like, forget about all that? After all, I intentionally sprinkle around false data about myself...'"
Just delicious.
I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time.
ReplyDeleteIs there a link to the original post?
ReplyDelete