Guest Post: Do born Jews dislike socializing with converts that look like “Shiksas”?

My blogreader friend who has written some of the recent posts about dating is saving me from the choice between letting the blog slip and school work in this time of "one last push" as I strain to make sure I do as well as possible this semester when I suffer from senioritis making it difficult to study. So, anyhow, she was kind enough to write up this nice long guest post which I will be posting in chunks spread out until it's posted.


Do born Jews dislike socializing with converts that look like “Shiksas”? Part one


I realized something very odd the other day. I know plenty of converts, most of them women. I've heard that 90% of converts are women, I don't know where that statistic is from, but I would not be surprised. Of the converts that I know are married, most of them met their husbands prior to or during the conversion process. In other words, they were gentile women when they began dating their husbands. When they converted they were accepted as full fledged Jews, even if not Orthodox practicing, they quickly got married escaping the hell of shidduchim. The few women that were already converted, I noticed a trend, the women had features that they could pass for a born Jew. Those few were fortunate to have conversions that didn't drag out for years and years and they were able to convert shortly after or during (heavily discouraged now) college so they did not miss out on prime dating years. I know in two cases, the women had Jewish fathers, but in the others, they just happen to have physical appearances that they didn't stand out. For a short time, when I first came into the neighborhood, I did dye my hair a dark brown would hoping it would help, but of course it doesn't change the rest of my physical features.





Insert from Michal: With the exception of Hillel friends, most of my Orthodox friends are converts. When I put my survey up on my Facebook, it was the convert friends who jumped in ready to help out. It was their convert friends who offered (not did after being asked) to status the link to my survey. The converts immediately had my back. As for 90% of converts being women, I believe this to be true. When I was taking conversion classes for a brief time at OZ, it was mostly women who were in the class. Also, when a man came, I had no way (well rudely asking people I don’t know which isn’t my style) to know if he was in the class or coming for “shiksa that he’s bringing in to Judaism.” I think it’s more that born Jews grow up with their friends and don’t really seek out new friends. Being older, I don’t know so many Orthodox born Jews my own age. Most of them are married and so their lives are all about their husbands and kids and maybe work. They socialize with other mothers, not single girls. When they do socialize with single girls, it’s usually girls with whom they grew up. I also kick myself for having not dated during my process. No matter what they SAY, I saw that they didn't do it that way they those who dated were hurried along.