When I was on Frumster, a male acquaintance showed me the search results in my age bracket. Pages and pages of pretty dark haired girls, a few, not many with lighter hair and eyes, but overall still had a “Jewish” look. Then there was myself and just a couple of other converts that stuck out. I gave up online dating a long time ago since the only replies I got were from dirty old men or men that wanted to have non-kosher fun with someone they considered to be a kosher shiksa they could play with and discard while holding out for a real Jewess. Sending complaints to Frumster didn't do much, as the men are still on there. There was nothing indicating this in my profile, indeed my rav approved my essays and photos prior to posting.
Now someone will likely point out that there are Jews of all colors, nationalities, shapes and sizes, which I agree. There are FFBs of Asian, African, Latin American descent that look like natives of their respective geography. I've known of 4th and 5th generation FFB African American Jews and Jews of Indian descendant that look nothing like a “typical” Jew. But certainly those are the exceptions and when people encounter them, they are considered exotic.
We have some at my school. People ask them when they converted and it annoys them to no end.So is there any way I'll ever fit in with the community? Before someone yet again mentions out of town communities or outreach centers, Over the years, I've tried those too, going to summer programs, extended weekend Shabbatons, and back in my hometown and still felt like I was treated like a stranger (which converts are)--cordially, but kept at a 'safe' distance.
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