Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Entitlements To Lashon Hara

One of the things that really annoys me about the Jewish is the way everyone talks about me behind my back and somehow they think I don't know. What strikes me as odd is that people I consider mere casual acquaintances somehow think they have the right to tell me how to run my life. I was discussing this with someone who actually tried to justify it. WTF??? I gave her a scenario-not exactly mine. I was at a Shabbos meal one time and the hostess asked me where else I went for Shabbos. When I mentioned a small community that I went to, she asked me if I knew someone who lived there, we'll call her Rachel. I told her I did indeed know her. She immediately spilled this woman's business to me, "she's been married for over 10 years and she doesn't have a kid yet." She didn't know how well I knew Rachel. The truth is that I was pretty good friends with Rachel at the time and I knew that she had been married a while and I saw that she didn't have a kid. However, the hostess didn't know the two of us together at all. The way she told me this seemed to assume that I didn't know. So, UM, wtf, would people have me do to Rachel? I felt uncomfortable and didn't play into her game. It didn't end there. She told me that if we all make Rachel feel bad then maybe suddenly Rachel will be able to have kids. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm WTF? 

So, I tell this story to this teacher at the local Bais Yaakov and she endorses the lashon hara. She said that sometimes it's necessary for the community to pressure people for their own good. This is textbook lashon hara but yet it was being justified to me. It's personal for me because there are decisions I have made that people don't agree with and the community is ganging up on me. Being Jewish is worse than high school. I've pushed so many people out of my life because they refused to shut up with telling me how to run my life. The fact is that since I pay the consequences of my actions, I get to decide those actions. Anyway, all the little manipulation garbage from casual acquaintances in the world isn't going to change things. Oh and all of you are acquaintances. I only have one Jewish friend and she isn't doing it to me.

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