Monday, November 3, 2014

Shit-uck.....a recent exchange with a "shadchan"

Recently, someone wanted to set me up... here is the exchange with personal information redacted... Then I will close with more information and my thoughts.... Anything written in < > is not from the conversation...

It started when I changed my profile pic and he commented on it to contact him re a shidduch. So I asked on a FB message and this is what transpired.... 

March 28, 2013 10:16 pm
I don't have your number. So, why don't you send me information. How old is he? What does he do? What disabilities does he have? Where did he grow up? What's his highest level of education? What neighborhood does he live in? What kind of Jew does he consider himself? You know, normal stuff that people want to know....

March 29, 2013 12:00 am
<blank message>

October 13th, 6:39pm

I just got this message. He is a Rabbi. He is an author. Does Hashgacha around the world. Has an apartment in Manhattan lat time i checked.
My number is <redacted>

October 13th, 8:50pm
You still didn't tell me how old he was. Do you text or call only?

I haven't spoken to him in awhile. I would guess that he is in his really fifties


What is there besides text and talk?

Yeah, early fifties is too old. There's Email and FB messages.
I prefer younger men actually. They are nicer.

October 13th, 10:18pm
I have to get his age for you

I date 30 to 49-firm. My 18 year old niece has more wrinkles than I do.

Wednesday 11:44am
Rabbi thinks that revealing his age is an eekuv. He would tell you on first date. Ball is in your court. Check Internet for <redacted name of prospective shidduch>.

Wednesday 8:31pm
There is a halacha against wasting another person's time. Refusing to give basic information that everyone exchanges seems to fall under this category.

<asked some female FFBs. They didn't know what eekuv was. A guy told me it is a delay.... and that the man refusing to share his age is the one eekuvin'>

Thursday 5:49am
<after googling the man and getting the impression he was around 60>
It's ok, I'm not interested. He's too old for me. I told you 49 is my max and honestly I am not even interested in men over 43.

October 27th, 5:11pm
Ok. Age isn't everything though.

October 27th, 9:30pm
Well, then maybe he should think that way and date a woman his own age. I'm a very visual person so it's very important to me. My time is very valuable and I don't give it away for free to people acting sketchy.
October 27th, 10:37pm
And you say age isn't everything, so WHAT do me and this man have in common? You basically come at me with the usual, "I have a guy for you" but you failed to tell me a thing about him. I'm quite sure he came to you and asked you for a much younger woman, so obviously age doesn't mean anything to him... He's 60, right? or older? Yeah.. we are at different stages in our life, that's what... He's planning his retirement and dealing with hemorrhoids, going to the doctor and taking meds and I'm... well, not even middle aged yet. Not to mention, I look so young most people think I am 16 to 25.
BTW, someone just asked me to ask you, did you set your daughter up with guys 20 years older than her and refuse to tell her the guy's age? If I wanted to settle for someone much older, I wouldn't be single.... there's been a plethora of guys 15 years older than me with whom people have tried to set me up...


I don't know if I should even bother answering you. You obviously have a chip on tour shoulder. He did not ask me to meet anyone.
I told you to Google him and learn what you could.

You are obviously very much in demand.

Good luck to you. I'm sure there is a line of men waiting for you.

Tuesday 2:00am
I didn't ask you to set me up... you put a note on my profile that you wanted to set me up. I don't want to get married. I keep telling everyone this and then they keep coming with these men 15 and 20 years older than me.. because I guess if I don't want to get married, I'll change my mind for a man 20 years older than me? I don't buy for a second that he didn't ask you for a woman young enough that she could still have kids.... because that's exactly what they do. You used to be nice. Now you're being mean to me. If you want to call it me having a chip on my shoulder, then call it that.... I call it being aware of the tricks people are trying to play on me and being so over it.


BTW, for those who didn't see this on my Facebook... I finally found the age with googling... he's 62... I wanted to share this because I'm always told that I should just say thanks but no thanks. The only problem is, you see that the "no thanks" is met with retorts....This person is in the position to potentially trash me in the community with lashon hara.... I wanted my side out there clear as day... this is the conversation. The only edits are for names and such.

1 comment:

  1. Shidduch is an arranged date that's supposed to lead to marriage... shadchan is a match maker....