In that first magazine I picked up, the author was focusing on the idea that singles have feelings, too. She points out how outrageous the shadchans' behavior can get by entertaining the idea that if a teacher ever told her students that they weren't pretty or skinny enough. No one would question how out of line they were. Yet routinely shadchans abrasively tell off singles like that. I am gorgeous so I am not fed that one, but I've been told that no one would want me because I'm a convert or because I don't make good money. While many men may not, there could be someone who wouldn't mind.
Anyhow, the highlight of the article is a trip to the New Jersey home of a big name shadchan only to find her crying her eyes out. Apparently, she had just met with one of those "oh-so-great-bochurs"
The real problem here is that we, as a Jewish community are allowing the men to go crazy demanding their requests. They aren't shopping for a product, they are looking for a wife-a human being! Furthermore, the fact that these yentas are allowing these men to have this sort of control is exactly why we have a shidduch crisis. The rabbis can put out letter after letter until they're blue in the printing press, but they are targeting the wrong group for change. The men are the ones who need to change, but the greater Jewish community needs to get rid of these pissing wars we have with each other. The shidduch crisis is as bad as it is because many people are trying to hold out for someone that will make their acquaintances jealous. The criteria changes from hashkafa to haskafa as to whom will make their peers jealous, but the underlying drive to make others seethe in jealous is a monster running loose in the hearts of us.
Rabbi Pasach Krohn mentioned it when he spoke at a shul in my neighborhood over a year ago. It doesn't just exist with regards to shidduchim. He mentioned how women get upset when someone they know re-does their kitchen. I'm sorry, but if you can get jealous of someone who re-does their kitchen, you've probably never had a "real problem" and should be grateful for that instead of pining away for fine granite countertops.
Oh, and the bochur in the story? He may "look good on paper" but he has terrible middos. Usually people who look good on paper are messed up in some way that comes up when you get off paper. I think I could write a whole 'nother post on that one....