See, I was just looking through the comments again. This is why I'm thinking about shutting down the blog or something. I was just looking at the comments on the last post. While there were some nice comments, there are a bunch of snarky comments from someone anonymous. I think I know who wrote them. A girl who is in the process that lives somewhere around me. You know what? You'll find out in about three years when they do it to you later on. Or maybe they just hate me.
However, I don't have the money to be moving around trying different places. Maybe some people have parents to help them out. I don't. I don't have anyone. I don't have relatives. I don't have anyone to fix my mistakes if I screw up. All of you people tell me to move, but if I go from the frying pan to the fire all I'm going to hear is that I should have known better than to listen to others and I should have made my own decisions. I'm not moving. I have gone away for Shabbos and had people be rotten to me from other communities and I've been told not to move to some places. I'm not going to go around blowing all my money throwing myself at a people who don't want me.
My goal with this blog and that last post was not for people to barrage me with advice. Did I tell you guys I wanted your advice? I don't. What I want is to incite change for the better. No convert and BT benefit from people being nasty to them. Yet, this is what they do to them. Curmudge is married, but as a single I get far more nastiness and judgementalness. For Curmudge to say that my experience is somehow largely different from other converts, I'm not so sure it is. I've met a number of others like myself who have hidden out from the community or gone off. They aren't nice to a lot of us. Why a select few have actually had it easy while the rest of us have been at the receiving end of snarky rottenness I do not know. I do know this, it's not because I'm not a likeable person. That is something that I am. I have tons of friends, it's just that they are not Jewish. People like me. I don't do anything weird like look at the ceiling when I go out to eat with a friend. I'm mostly normal. I'm funny and cool. I'm very likeable.