Jews can do the crime but, not the time....

I am ever increasingly SICK and TIRED of people Emailing me and FB inviting me to rally behind Jewish CRIMINALS, like Rubaskin. Someone, I can't figure out who, set me up with an invite on Facebook to a prayer service for him.

"THERE IS NO GREATER MITZVAH THAN PIDYON SHVUYIM (Redemption of Captives)


—RAMBAM ‘ הלכות מתנות לעניים פרק ח‘ הלכה י"
 
Are these people for real? Yep, the goyim did it. It's all the goyim's fault. Do you sense my sarcasm? There are far too many Jews who somehow think that they are priviledged to be above the rest of the population. The Torah commands us to be preists among the nations. Jews have forgotten this. Yes, I said "Jews" not "we"... Remember? I'm not a REAL Jew, as I'm often reminded.

Converts: so NONE of you ever had this happen?

Perhaps, you guys are following the comments on my other posts. Anyhow, there is a discussion right here on this blog. I mentioned that it BUGS the STUFFING out of me that people can be all about judging Tropper favorably and YET they can make comments about how the converts are insincere. Or, NO ONE met someone and when they find out a convert or in the process, they decide it's THEIR personal duty to make sure you are fit to be Jewish. Examples of people who do this are: potential dates that ask a battery of personal questions before the date, people you meet at a shul kiddush or at someone else's house, or people who having you over without knowing who you are first-perhaps a friend, rabbi or hospitality committee made the arrangement.

So, NO ONE has had this happen to them?

Judging by anonymous guest poster, a candidate for gyoress

Orthodox conversion is all about judgment. Before you even get in the door, your sponsoring Rabbi will pass judgment on your fitness as a potential member of the Jewish people. The community that you live in will scrutinize you, judging your every move, or lack thereof. You'll eventually get judged by the Beis Din, and if you are doing the whole process right, you should be constantly judging yourself, your motives, and your drive. All of this, I knew when I signed up; I knew that I would be examined completely by just about every Jewish person that I could meet. And I'm ok with this. I understand why, to some extent, my non-observant Jewish
friends give me the third degree. I have no problem sharing my story with any old stranger around the shabbos dinner table. Sure that person may not be officially weighing in with the Beis Din, but you never know who is related to who.

There is one type of judging that I really wasn't prepared for, that I have only encountered now that I am knee-deep in the process. You see, I'm judging all the other women who are converting, and I know they are all judging me. I know, I know, we should all be super supportive of each other, we should be empowering each other as we go through this most difficult, most emotional time. But really, how am I going to know where I am, if I don't use you as a frame of reference. You see, maybe you are further along then I am, then I can see you as an inspiration, something to aspire to. More likely though, I'm scrounging through your facebook profile to see how much cleavage you are showing, how many men you are touching, and how many times you are wearing pants. Or I'm smirking at the fact that my motives are pure and you and your boyfriend, certainly are anything but pure. Or maybe I'm just thinking that its a shame that you actually made it through the process, because you obviously weren't ready for the mikveh. And I'm sorry that I'm doing it, but I can't help it. Your silly questions, your mistakes, your confusion makes me feel like I finally, just a little bit, might have some idea as to what I'm doing.

I guess my only consolation is knowing that you are probably out there judging me too. Maybe you think I'm too machmir, maybe you think my politics are too liberal, maybe you think my skirts are too short, or too long, or I wear too much makeup, or not enough. Who knows what you think. But I know you are out there judging me. I'm sure after reading this you are thinking, "I hope they never let her convert, she isn't a good candidate". But the truth is that you aren't on my Beis Din, and I'm not on yours. And this is for the best I suppose. Because if I was in charge, no one would make it through. At least thats where I am right now. But the great thing is that this is a process, and as much as I am judging you, I'm judging myself. I'm working on it, I'm trying be a better person, and maybe, just maybe I'll know that I'm finally ready for the mikveh when my compassion outweighs my condemnation.