Monday, July 12, 2010

I'm not a stupid convert...

I was thinking last night in between my snores... When I posted  or told the story, of how this woman didn't know me and wanted to set me up with some Persian guy. She barely knows him and knows me even less. The feedback I got was in the range of thinking I don't know... blah blah blah blah....

For example, one friend started telling me that I don't know how hard it is to set people up. Here's the clincher with that: I didn't ask this woman to set me up. That blogreader who offered to have me over under the premise of being nice when really he just wanted to fix my problems and pat himself on the back, he wanted to talk to me about this post. He figured I wasn't aware that this is what they do, they just throw people together. I'm fully aware of this.

What surprised me was that I was under the impression that foreign men were asking for American women and that these wannabe matchmakers were going out and trying to find for the men what they want without  regard for the fact that these women may not want these men and therefore, no honey, this ain't a shidduch. I'm quite tired of women in the community telling me to be grateful for any piece of $#!+ disgusting gross man that is interested in me. Interesting enough, when age appropriate American men try to talk to me, they shoo them away.

Somehow, a vast number of individuals in the Jewish community seem to figure that in some way or another they must pressure me to cave and  begin dating the nebach men I would not want. I feel this is why I'm not welcomed. They figure they will make it uncomfortable for me on Shabbos and they will get their way in ruining my life.

I've got news for you all. I've spent a vast amount of time by myself since I was old enough to not have a babysitter. You all are not going to break me. I'd rather be alone and happy than miserable but with someone. I'm not going to anyone for Shabbos anymore. I have no problem staying home and reading/sleeping for 25 hours. Please readers stop offering to have me over because I've just had it with invites that are only feigned to be friendly. I no longer want to give people a chance. You may well be kind and just looking to have someone over out of kindness. I've just had one too many bad experiences and I'd rather not have another. I just don't have the energy for this stuff.


  1. :-(

    Shabosses alone can really stink'eroo...


  2. Wish there was some sort of wise counsel I could offer...... but I'm not a huge fan of most Jews either. :-\

    I think part of this is that you're running into the barrier that is present for all Jewish single females today -- the number of decent guys has declined relative to the ladies. I guess having converted makes it more difficult.....?

    I didn't convert.....and I pose it as a question b/c I see so many well-meaning morons trying to solve "THE SHIDDUCH CRISIS" that I'm not sure your 'converted' status makes things worse than it would otherwise be. Although..... it probably does help attract more ignorant do-gooders (or are they just do-gooder ignoramuses?) than a non-blogging non-convert would get.

    You wrote: "Somehow, a vast number of individuals in the Jewish community seem to figure that in some way or another they must pressure me to cave and begin dating the nebach men I would not want. I feel this is why I'm not welcomed."

    Well, I say: DON'T CAVE!!!! Bold, underline and enlarge that one. DON'T CAVE. You didn't join Am Yisrael to be miserable, nor do I believe that God wants you to be miserable. More strength to you for not caving.

  3. Yeah, but, Shabbosos with people who want to tell you how to live your life are worse. I didn't appreciate being someone's "agenda" this past Shabbos. I would rather be alone. It would be better if Mr. Wonderful would pop out of nowhere but, somehow I'm not holding my breath.

  4. Hey, I'm not a convert (an FFB actually), and I get a lot of the same. Unfortunately, there are a lot of "do gooders" out there, who think that a single girl above a certain age is certainly desperate enough to accept just about anybody and have tons of advice about "networking" and stuff. And they have no problem at all coming right out and asking "Why haven't you done such and such" or "You know, you should really do such and such". And they get seriously insulted when you turn down some of their "interesting" possible dates I've decided to just ignore them the best I can.

  5. Thanks. I think it's a little easier for you because you don't have to spend holidays alone but, yeah, they definitely think they are going to sweep through and solve our problems. Somehow, I'm not really even looking for a shidduch anymore. I've really accepted my lot in life as a single woman. It's not the end of the world. They think it is, but it isn't.