What I failed to say in my recent post, was how much this girl went overboard. She started out not so offensive, as I mentioned. Some of the over the line things she asked though was when she started asking which beis din I went through. Then she asked if I'm accepted where I live. I thought that was not so nice. She started harping on, "well wasn't it hard to give up...." ? How do I feel about keeping Shabbos alone every week since I just admitted that no one accepts me in my community. Yes, long winded, I have the blog and such but it's this, "I just want to step in and represent the Jewish people by letting YOU know that we don't like or want your kind," that comes through in these interactions. All I can say is that I'm sorry I actually thought I wanted to be Jewish now that I know how shallowness and self-absorbness is considered desired self attributes. I really believed Gd wanted me to convert. Now I'm left to wonder if any of it is real.
Now, I know what most of you are going to say: that I should move-leave NYC. I'm sorry, but I moved to NYC because I wanted to live here, not because I wanted to convert. As a marketing major, I need to be here because this is where all the marketing research/advertising jobs are. This is also where there is a school I want to go to for grad school (after a break from school, though and just working, I'm exhausted). Finally, I'm comfortable here. I know my way around and I just don't feel excruiatingly inclined to go to someplace new and acclamate myself to it, not even 'Jersey. I am not leaving New York State.