Thursday, July 9, 2009

Let's drop in on Shabbos etiquette

Michal’s guide to hosting and being hosted

It’s a big mitzvah to have someone over for Shabbos. In particular, BTs, conversion candidates and converts tend to be the most likely to need hospitality. Many times guests are not comfortable telling a hosts that they are making them feel uncomfortable. When asked they may even deny it, as they feel more uncomfortable being asked. Instead, I’m composing some key clues that you may be prying into your guest’s personal business rather than getting to know them.

In general, converts and conversion candidates do not want to share their story with the whole world over and over again. Instead, wait until at least the second time you’ve had them over to ask their story. Also, be willing to accept a shortened version.

Do be on the look out for people who might need an invitation and invite them.


  1. There are two very key things people should always keep in mind when it comes to converts. First you never want to make them regret it, if you make them uncomfortable they might.

    The other key thing to keep in mind is you aren't supposed to remind them constantly of being a convert. Converts are viewed more as a "Convert who converted" than a non-Jew who converted. The reason for this is that they always had this spark.

    I am not saying its wrong to tell your story, especially because you aren't supposed to forget where you came form, but you also don't want to constantly remind people. If they want to share their story it will come up naturally in conversation at some point.

  2. Yes, I should post more of of the post. I covered some of that.