Thursday, December 23, 2010

Poll on dating....

Hey what do you guys think?

If a guy keeps talking about wanting to go out for drinks while the girl repeatedly says she wants an afternoon date at starbucks, what's up? Is he lying about wanting marriage? How about if a guy is talking about sex on the phone? What if a guy is talking about "will you wear high heels for me"?


  1. The first one re: drinks/starbucks -- beats me.
    The next one -- huh? Yuck.
    As for the heels -- some guys are really, really into high heels. A friend of mine (very pretty but short) once shidduch-dated a tall guy who asked if she'd be willing to always wear tall heels, so there wasn't such a height difference between them. They're no longer together!

    I think a guy might say "you know, this look really does it for me, would you be okay with that?". I have mixed feelings about that.

    But then there are the guys who think "she has to knock herself out to always look like a supermodel 'cause I should always get everything I want." Failing to recognize the other person's humanity, among other problems.

    A friend of mine once said, "Is [guy's] fiancee considered 'thin?' I know he wanted a 'thin' girl." I asked what that had to do with where they'd be a few years down the line; he said, "the hope is by then, the guy isn't such a gross animal any more."

  2. Glad Im Not Frum Anymore!December 24, 2010 at 9:39 AM

    Gawd - someone seriously needs to give frum guys some social/dating skills and the guy talking about sex on the phone and the one asking for heels BEFORE HE EVEN KNOWS YOU both deserve to be slapped.

    The one who insists on going out for drinks after the girl clearly indicated she was uncomfortable with it is just plain scary.

    WTF is wrong with these people?

  3. Drinks vs Starbucks? That could mean he prefers alcohol (beer even) to coffee lol. But, it also means he's stoned if he keeps on insisting to do what he wants to do as opposed to his date.

    Lying about marriage? I fail to see any connection to the post.

    What about talking about sex on the phone? Does that mean what......? You have to distinguish between phone sex and "talking about sex." The former: He's horny like many other guys out there.....? The latter: Well, depends on the context. If he's talking about various halachos, then......

    Heels: Hm, that's an interesting one. I like the "heels look" but wouldn't say anything to a girl I'm dating because I don't think it's appropriate to be her fashion adviser while I'm dating her. But ya, I'd like to see my wife in heels. The idea isn't strange, but personally, I think asking is.

  4. The drinks thing is weird if he repeatedly disregards what the girl wants to do. Drinks vs. coffee isn't weird in itself b/c it may just be an issue of hoping that a drink will make the atmosphere more relaxed. But if he keeps insisting, and it's the first date, yeah it's weird.

    Talking about sex on the phone.... weird if you've never met. It seems generally weird unless you know each other well and respect each other.

    High heels? That's just plain weird.