Sunday, January 16, 2011

Unsolicited Advice That Flies Around

So, I'm looking through some old posts on some blogs that I follow for some ideas on potential blog posts and I came across one on Emes-ve-Emunah from about 6 months ago. I very much respect this rabbi blogger. He says much of what I say but he gets a better response. I suspect that it's because he's a man, and well, a rabbi. Nevertheless, in this post he was pointing out that people are quite quick to offer advice when they don't know all the ins and outs of a person's situation.

I find this myself. Repeatedly, people have suggested to me that I need to move. I, on the other hand, am not so sure that this will automatically fix the problem. Furthermore, I seriously doubt that someone else has been able to figure out solutions in my life that I am unable to figure out. After all, I'm the one that has the vested interest in it. So, I do spend a good deal of time trying to decide how I want to go about things.

The best, though, is when twenty-somethings who live at home with parents or other family start advising me. I know one girl told me that I could get a job for $50 an hour. I said, "so why don't you get a job for $50 an hour?" This past Shabbos I had a Shabbos pest, I mean guest, who amongst other things, tried to tell me get a job in this and move here and move there. I was wondering what kind of manners with which she was raised. The truth is that some of these girls think this is ok. It's really not. Furthermore, when people tell you, "that doesn't work for me," especially if you are in their home and they have been nice enough to you invite you when you were working up to asking if you could come, you should be respectful of the people who have invited you.


  1. As for why more people read Rabbi Maryles' blog, I think a lot of it is that you're a (relative) newcomer, pointing out how significant parts of today's frum world doesn't make any sense. Rabbi Maryles has the tradition behind him to say "not only does it not make sense, but it's inconsistent with the frum world of yesteryear"; that's a stronger, more reassuring message to a lot of people (that they're not heretics for disagreeing with today's mess).

    On a technical note, Rabbi Maryles is able to post consistently, just about once (or more) a day. You tend to post in bursts; I'm sure that fits your hectic schedule, but people are less likely to check every day this way.

    By the way, have you tried any of these performing arts groups for Orthodox women? I hear they've been popping up recently.

  2. I have talked about how the problems of today jive with yesteryear, but I think it's harder to swallow from a convert than an FFB who has heard things while growing up. I have some friends who are in their 70's that tell me about how things have changed. Their kids flipped out and they complain how the judaism of their time "wasn't good enough" for their daughter in Lakewood or their bochur son.

    I agree with the spurts being a contributing factor. It's not just a hectic schedule that contributes to that. I try to post things that are inspired. For my followers who want to see what I put up right away, what you can do is make a blogger account and click to "follow" a blog. Then when you go to, there's a stream of all the blogs you follow and the first couple lines from their posts. This is how I read the other blogs. I'm following Frum Satire, R. Maryles, technically Daas Torah but, I usually skip him as well as some poeple who post even less often.

    Last year, I posted a lot while I was on break from school but this year the break just kinda flew by on me. I also don't post sometimes because I feel like no one reads my posts that aren't "Jewish" since they don't get comments and sometimes, I don't have anything tactful to say so I don't say anything at all....