I was just commenting over on a post on Frum Satire and a fellow commenter nudged me into the following comment about the high level of phoniness and emphasis on externals in the Jewish world.
This is super noticeable in the dating world. In other religions, the men are taught not to look at outward appearances but not so in the Jewish religion. Instead, women are told to cover up but men are told it's ok for them to look for arm candy, after all, they do have to be ATTRACTED to their wife. The Hot Chanie is born.
It's all about appearances. There's so much status jockeying and such. It's actually considered a good quality. People think of BY Rav Meir as some frummy school, but I've recently heard about how their application for the kindergarten concerns itself with whether the family spends summers in the catskills or not. Then I discovered that the FFB classmate who tried to brag down another classmate on her family going to Florida for both Pesach AND Sukkos.... went to Rav Meir.
The "religious" Jewish environment teaches phoniness and externals so it makes sense to mekarev by teaching externals.
You have GOT to start going to Hineni. I met my DH there, and he was more concerned with my davening ability than my dress size. In fact, he only considered me as a potential mate after he found out I could daven the entire Ashrei from memory!
ReplyDeleteThe Talmud (Kiddushin beginning of ch. 2) says that a man must see his wife before he marries her, to make sure that there is nothing about her that repulses him. That is very far from saying, "it's ok for them to look for arm candy".
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