So, I’ve been thinking about my experience is that gender issues household and my feelings on the gender issues in the past week. Unfortunately, in Orthodox society, the gender roles have become for women to do everything and the men to do nothing but go and “learn.” The reality is that what the men call “learning” is really all about a good old boys club. They enjoy arguing with each other. The problem is that this is against the very Torah they claim to be learning.
The Talmud says very clearly that if a man does not teach his son a trade, it is as though he teaches him to steal. In today’s society, this means going to college. Yet we have little children 7 and 8 years old who scoff that they won’t go to college. The mother clearly didn’t like my comment about them going to college. They are not the only little boys being taught that they, as men, do not work, they sit and learn.
How do these people expect that all of Orthodoxy should support themselves with only the woman’s salary. Let’s be realistic, “woman” jobs pay less than “man” jobs. The higher $70,000 a year that a therapist might make is not very much money when you have to pay for a nanny, vehicles, gas, tuition, camp and so on and so forth, especially when you have a large family. At least in the scenario where a woman is staying home and the man is working, you are not paying for a nanny.
I’m not even touching on the quality of the nannies that Orthodox women are hiring. They think their nannies are great but, really the woman leaves the baby home alone. I’ve seen it firsthand.
At this point, this arrangement is still working for people because most people have parents who pay for things even after their married. However, logically, I don’t see that happening in the next generation when the parents of grown children become a mother who works as a teacher or therapist and the father doesn’t work and doesn’t have any skills. Also, nowadays, the parents who are supporting their kids often don’t have as many children as the young parents nowadays are having. How is one supposed to support 5 married children and put their grandchildren through school and still retire without starving?