Sunday, January 23, 2011
Michal online vs. real Michal
Writing the last post, I was just thinking also about how people often comment, especially with regard to my posts about men and dating about how people must be driven away by my attitude and that's why people don't want to invite me or date me. The funny thing is that I'm pretty laid back and quiet in person. Often I don't say what I'm thinking, especially when I'm dealing with people I don't know so well. I don't really see myself as warm and nice and kind and just soooo NICE, but most of the women who claim to be, aren't, either. They are usually very manipulative. Somehow though, people seem to let it go. I'm not sure why.
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As a fellow convert I do understand. Just can't win. I am pretty shy, but I am respectful in person, and I do try to participate in being social as appropriate, yet I get labeled, 'not friendly.' People that know me do like me, so it's not that I am a complete reject, just to a large segment. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteIf I decline. an icky very old man as a shidduch, the wannabe shadchan is 'offended' by my 'bad attitude.' It's been quite a few years since I converted, but I've never been presented with an age appropriate match. Not once--same with 2 of my friends, each is significantly younger or older (both accomplished, pretty and social women) so it is not just me or my age. Yet the pressure and comments on hurry up and get married do sting when there is no real support.
I've encountered the fake sweetness that ends up being manipulative. I don't see how some people don't see through this, but these folks do seem to do well. Still even through I haven't found my way in 'frum culture' nor does it look like I'll get married, I am happy I converted. I do feel I can do more as a Jewess than previously. There are nice people, just difficult to find.
I've dealt with that as well. Fortunately, I have a fairly good BS meter. Unfortunately, I have a poor ability to socialize with people I don't respect (and that includes the manipulators.)
ReplyDeleteHow do you feel about socializing with fugitives?
ReplyDeleteHa Ha Ha. It became increasingly difficult to be polite as the week wore on. I even went so far as to tell DH "if she stays one day past the chag, I want rent!"
ReplyDeleteAn interesting post. I think you've touched on why the Internet is so dangerous.
ReplyDeleteSo, your blogger persona and your in-life persona are markedly different, eh? Why is that so surprising? Everyone today seems to think the net gives them license to let it all hang out.
Say what you want, how you want to, be as nasty as you want. After all, it's all covered by a heavy cloud of anonymity, right?
Wrong. Such an attitude is toxic. That's just it....the challenge is to NOT be a phony in this world. Instead, people behave one way in real life, and then their real ugliness comes out on the internet.
You decry the phoniness....rightfully so. But look at the catalog of anger, bitterness, and disillusionment which is your blog. I don't say that to hurt you; in fact, it's hurtful to read how much pain your in.
I don't know about this blogging business. What I do think, however, is that spewing all this anger on a blog doesn't help you get where you need to be. It's just putting the anger out there, and having a bunch of others often justify your feelings....but it goes nowhere. And, it's all anonymous to boot.
How this is supposed to make anyone's life better is beyond me. Sorry for the long comment.
Daniel