Now I think I'm of overall average appearance, but I do notice I stand out at shul, clearly I do not look like everyone else. I noticed that new people are frequently greeted and asked about their meal plans and invited which I am happy for them. When I was new, I was greeted nicely, small talk at kiddush was and still is made, but not offered an invite even when folks asked who I am eating by. After sticking with it for a while, there are a total of 4 families that have ever extended invites at the shul I go to regularly over the 2 years I attended. The other shul I sometimes go to, just 3 families one time each over the past 2 years, all right after I ask to have my name on the office list (it still is there). Just the rav and one other family ever inquire if I have meal plans for chagim. Yet my Jewish looking friends are offered meals much more frequently. If my friends ask if I can come along to the meal, usually the hosts will agree. But otherwise I have given up on getting invites even when I have explicitly stated I would like plans. It's like I'm a gentile, it is OK to be polite, but no extended socializing like one would with "real" Jews. I am a member of all the big shuls in my neighborhood and help out, so there is no doubt that I am halachically Jewish and not a pre-convert.