Monday, June 1, 2009

I have the solution to Israel's problem!

Right here. That's right. I've got it!

Create a separate state for non-halachic Jews. They can meet each other, marry each other, bury each other in their own cemetaries.

Maybe, that's a little too much... What about creating a new religion for them? It would be the Jewish religion of non-halachic Jews and give them an infrastructure. Let them marry and bury each other. They can start an online dating service to meet each other. I just don't know what to call this new religion... Jewahides?

In this suggestion, they wouldn't be physically separated into a separate state. In the other suggestion, they would.

So, what does everyone think?


  1. Lol. Brilliant! Wait, which problem? Last time I checked there were a couple thousand problems.

    The non-halachic Jews? Reform? Conservative? Reconstructionist? Under which categories do those fall under? Uh oh ;).. I smell another heated debate coming. Hehe, kidding. (I think, lol.)

    And boy oh boy. By the times everyone agrees who is allowed into this separate state or infrastructure we'll have 2000 of them; give or take a few hundred.

    My proposal is we all work on unity. How cliché, huh? Or should I say, sanctimonious. Truth be told, that would be great, but realistically unlikely. Shucks, back to the drawing board for both of us.

  2. The PROBLEM is that there are not 2,000 but, over 300,000 Jews in Israel who are not halachically Jewish and don't want to be. These are primarily patrilineage Jews from the former Soviet Union.

    However, there are patrilineage Jews from other countries, as well as converts with conversions good enough for the Law Of Return, yet not good enough for marry and bury in Israel.

    Currently, non religious marriage and burial is not available to these people. What are these people to do? They aren't Xtians. They aren't muslims. They do not wish to marry and bury under either of these auspices. I guess you can say they are noahides, however, they grew up thinking they were Jewish and so, they are more Jewish than a regular noahide. However, the matter still remains, they are not Jewish.