I just have some quick thoughts about the shidduch crisis where women aren't able to get married. Is anyone mean and nasty to the men about, "why aren't you married?" Seriously, why shouldn't women give up when the community involved with shidduchim are a network of mean and nasty people? Not one shadchan I have dealt with has seemed to follow up on my dates and ask me about it or told me they spoke with the man and he doesn't want to go out again and this is why. At least in the secular world, there's no expectation that I should be dating and marrying every guy I go on ONE date with.
Which brings me to my reason for blogging this. Yesterday, an EXTREMELY modern rabbi I know was giving me a hard time that I've gone out with four guys and I haven't had a second date. He said it's my responsibility and I have to act more like a ditz so men will want me. Statements like this, are exactly why I don't want to date anymore and thus, I don't want to get married. I was told that I can't expect to stay observant if I don't get married, this following a dvar Torah from this rabbi that, "how can you break Shabbos if you believe Gd created the universe?"
So, how ever will I stay observant? Eat your own words. I will be observant because I believe Gd created the universe, now leave me alone.
I feel you all too much on this problem.
ReplyDeleteI don't deal with shadchans, though, ha ha. Too much stress!
This was inspired by a conversation with a rabbi about how I better get married because I couldn't possibly stay observant if I don't.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't go through a shadchan the men act like you're a hooker or something.
ReplyDelete