The Games Girls Play and Why I'm Not Married....

Over on Frum Satire's blog, discussions have heated up about tzniut, mostly skirt lengths. It started when the blog owner, Heshy Fried, had embedded a you tube video on his blog with an FFB couple from the five towns getting engaged. He called it "awkward shomer negiah moments" because it's a little weird to get engaged without any hand holding and a kallah who is putting on her own ring. I'll spare you all the link, because that's not my point.

The girl in the video was wearing rather SHORT skirt. I mean, it must have been at LEAST four inches above her knee, probably more. So, various discussion ensued in the comments over at FS that she probably wasn't REALLY shomer, after all, this was an "awkward shomer negiah moment." The fact of the matter is whether she is or isn't when it's just them two, she's still, "shomer when people are watching" and they were.

One of the mini discussions I want to hone is was when the men said repeatedly in the comments, as I've heard before, "if ONLY these women KNEW how hard they make it for us by dressing like that."  I'm sorry but these guys must be so stupid. These girls DO know. That's exactly WHY they do it. Even one of my rabbis told me, "you women have the power to marry any guy you want to because you women know what you're doing." Nevertheless, I don't see these men putting their money where their mouth is. Who are the men dating and marrying? The "frum" girls who dress provocatively. What does the community say? NOTHING.

I have discussed this people before. Most people just start trying to explain things to me because after all, I as a convert must know NOTHING. In reality, I'm steps ahead of them. As I explain to people, the rules are technically that you are to cover the knees and elbows but really the rules are that it's very important that the girl wears a skirt and NOT pants. It REALLY doesn't matter what length the skirt is or if it covers the knees or not. See, this is where people interrupt to me and start telling me what the halacha on the books is. What they don't realize is that I'm WAYYYY ahead of them. I understand full well that if you ask what you're supposed to wear as a Jewish woman, you will be told to cover your knees. However, I also know that women are usually asked if they wear skirts and no one stops to add that said skirt should cover the knees. A man will refuse to date girls who wear pants before he will refuse a girl with a high hemline. In Queens, a BT guy got engaged to a BT girl who wore pants and his entire group of friends tried to convince him to break it off or give her an ultimatum to stop wearing pants. When that didn't work, they STOPPED speaking to him. We're talking about a man over 40 and he's supposed to do what people tell him to?

NO WHERE in the Torah does Hashem say that women should only wear skirts. When you ask why women are supposed to wear skirts, you are told that either A) it emphasizes the butt too much, not tzanuah or B) it's man's clothing.

A) why do we care about emphasizing the butt but one must not DARE speak up about those who emphasize the knee? (Someone will undoubtedly get nasty at me for what I say.)
B) Women's pants are not men's clothing and many women are wearing skin tight stretch pants. The straight men are not exactly flocking to the stores for those. Now you can argue that stretch pants aren't tznius, but let's be fair. If want to attack them, you should attack the short skirts, as well. However, no one does, but people on the fringe like me. Furthermore, the argument is ludicrous because religious women (ok and Asian women) are really the only ones wearing skirts regularly these days. As such, pants are no longer exclusively man's clothing. In NYC, women wear skirts more because people are more shallow here than any place else but maybe LA and skirts are dressier. Nevertheless, that could be it's own post.

What this all boils down to is a desire for men to be macho and keep gender roles as close as possible as they were in the 1800's. Men aren't trying to keep women in skirts to keep them modest. If they REALLY were, then the community would react to slutty short skirts. In the Xtian community I used to be in, you would be pushed out if you wore a skirt above your knees. You would be asked to leave church and not to dress like that again. People claim this isn't done in the Jewish community because we don't want to lose these girls on the fringe. The fact of the matter is that we have no trouble doing it to women who wear pants. If you wore pants to my old church, you wouldn't be asked to leave, but no one would talk to you that day, not even your friends, or they would ask why you're wearing pants and give you a "look." At least, the reactions matched the order of preference of attire. We play games about in the Jewish world. Although, the xtians have other issues I'm not going to get into here.

In conclusion, if wearing a skirt above the knee is REALLY against the rules, then people need to act like it's wrong. The truth is that wearing pants is the absolute worst thing in the world an Orthodox woman is to do. It's better to go about in her panties than pants. In fact, a girl I once heard snap that she didn't own pants went on the "no pants subway ride" this year. She's not afraid of people knowing, either.

How does Michal find the time to blog?

Earlier this week, I caught up with a blogreader in the cafeteria at Brooklyn College. I was asked where I find the time to blog.

Much of what I blog are things that I have enough of a strong opinion about that the blogs just flow out of my fingers pretty nicely. Rarely do I edit or organize these impromtu posts. When I have no time for even that, or I don't have any opionions, I post pictures I already had on my computer... At one point I posted my drawings that I've drawn by hand. I've also posted pictures drawn in paint. These were drawn before I went back to college and they were sitting around on my old computer. However, that computer just bit the dust by way of virus and so, I've lost my tiny remaining reserve of "emergency blog posts", such as I started a series on my Army days which I didn't get very far on, so I wanted to finish it first. Now, I have to start over with that.

Another thing that a savvy blogreader might notice, is that many of my longer posts are actually papers I've turned in for school to one of my professors. For example, this rather weird diagram was something I turned in last semester for my favorite Brooklyn College professor of all time. Personally, I like my paper for Marketing that I turned in about the super bowl ads. If you pull up the label college, most of it is papers I've written. This accounts for a number of my posts.

Bribing kids for success in high school...

I just saw that over on the Daas Torah blog, he has started a topic on bribing kids. His post is related to a friend he had in the early 80's who was bribed not to watch TV for a month. The kid got his $200 for keeping the bargain. He used it to go out and by a big fat TV... hehehe-love the irony, no? So, I was inspired to blog about a discussion had amongst my family....

It's funny, I was just discussing with someone over yontiff, the idea of bribing kids to get good grades. At my stepmother's wake (sorry, but, I AM a gyoress)... my aunt said she was going to bribe her niece, my estranged cousin, to get good grades. I mentioned that I had recently read an article in Psychology Today, which happens to be one of my favorite magazines, about how studies show that success in high school doesn't have the impact we think it does. Really success is better predicted by the support systems in place during the young adult years. Well, a screaming match ensued... but it's quite an interesting topic, what do you think?

Is There A Monster Lurking Under My Internet?

We have seen many changes in technology in the last three and a half decades that I’ve been alive. However, the introduction of the internet was a technology that has combined human interactions with technology. This was unlike the other technological changes. There are several venues where people meet. There are social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. There are also YahooGroups for discussing topics of mutual interest to each other. Also, people meet through online dating sites. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?


When I posed the question to my Facebook friends as to what they think of social networking sites, my friend H, replied that since she has not one but two autistic children, she finds it difficult to socialize. However, online socializing affords her the ability to socialize when she has a few minutes off from the kids. She and I actually originally both commented on the status of Frum Satire. She “friended” me. She was one of the first people I became Facebook friends with that I didn’t know yet in person. We went to see Heshy Fried aka Frum Satire together on Sunday August 16th, 2009. At the show, I met another of my Facebook friends, the commenter with the really long Hebrew name. Unfortunately, there was also a guy there (J) that I hadn’t met in person and didn’t want to meet. I had spoken to him on the phone as he claimed to have a resource for anyone interested. However, he immediately tried to meet for coffee. He tried to talk to me after the show. I grabbed H and we left.

While some have benefitted from social networking, like my friend H. Countless stories abound of problems that resulted from meeting someone online. People have met with someone who stole their money. Women have dated men who were already married. I found an article-1 about several teen girls who were lured into meeting older men off of MySpace and then sexually assaulted. Some of the girls in the article were drugged first, too. A really creepy and disgusting article-2 I ran across told of a father propositioning his own 13-year old daughter over Facebook. I even found a recap-3 of news stories from 2005. The stories of sexual predators online are endless.

On a more personal note, I have been able to find or be found by old friends and keep in touch with them. We comment on each other statuses and occasionally chat. My landlord’s daughter (from growing up) actually managed to find me. I found a picture of my mother’s house on her page back when it was red. It was painted blue when we were all young. She also found a picture of me at one of her birthday parties. I managed to find more friends than found me, mostly because my first name-last name combination is quite common. I found many of my friends from college the first time (ten years ago). I found a friend from the Army. I found my French pen pal that I haven’t talked to since high school.


When I wanted to gather friends to go ice skating over winter break from school, I just put up a status on Facebook asking who wanted to go with me. When I wanted advice on what netbook to buy, I just put up a status asking about it. If I had to call everyone to see who was free to go ice skating or who knew about the netbook, it would have been an exhausting effort. In fact, an online friend from the other side of the world, was one to share advice about the netbook. I sure was not going to be making phone calls to the other side of the world for something like that. Actually, I originally spoke to this girl from a Yahoo group to discuss conversion to Judaism, another medium of socializing online.


While I have not had any horrible experiences like the ones described earlier in this discussion, I have experienced some downfalls. Most notably, the sheer volume that you can lose, “farting around online” as I call it, tends to happen through Facebook or even reading and replying to comments from others' blog posts. Generally, the blog posts themselves do not take up so much time. I, now limit my reading of other blogs and the comments to when I’m waiting for the bus and other down times when I have signal on my cell phone. Rarely, now, do I read blogs from my computer when I am home.

Another time-killer is chatting with friends on Facebook. I discovered during final exam season that it’s best to put myself into offline mode if I have my Facebook open. One girl who is not in college but, a vocational program to teach day care, just couldn’t understand that when I put up a status that I was not available to socialize until December 22, she was included. She called me on the phone, “what’s your status about? What? Like you have school?” I had to tell her, “It’s finals season, do you NEED something or are you trying to chit chat?” It’s unfortunate that I have to take myself offline because there’s a woman I work for who will send me instant messages on Facebook. Although, now she sends them on Yahoo.

Many people hear the stories about the predators online like the ones above and become very afraid of the internet. So, now that we have examined both sides of the issue, I leave you with my conclusion about social networking. Children are sometimes scared that there is a monster under their bed. While it may be more realistic that there is a monster under our internet, one should take precautions that will reduce the risks. Generally, one shouldn’t be running out to meet new people in person that they just met over the internet. In fact, Hannah and I were friends online for at least 6 months before we finally met up. Predators usually get impatient. Also, one should not be sharing personal information to strangers or as part of their online profiles. Many articles online list safety precautions-4 of interest to all, but particularly for teenage girls.



REFERENCED LINKS

1) http://www.thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?we_cat=6&art_id=36543&sid=11833176&con_type=1&d_str=20070122&fc=1

2) http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/12/john-forehand-man-asked-d_n_317148.html

3) http://www.pcsndreams.com/Pages/Chat05.htm

4) http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/tech/tec14.shtm

A mind has been upgraded!

One of the blog commenters who has said some nasty things in the past about gerim has sent me an Email apologizing. I just think this is really great. It shows a little bit of progress being made.

As I've said before, one should look at the individual and not their "background." There are good gerim and bad gerim. There are good BTs and bad BTs. There are good FFBs and there are bad FFBs. One cannot judge someone based on these criterion alone. I would like to ask FFBs who agree with me to speak out on behalf of gerim. Perhaps, you could bring it up at a Shabbos table. Please teach your children that it's important not to judge someone negatively if they were not raised FFB.

We cannot help the family we were given by HKBH for whatever reason. However, we do have control over our observance destiny as we get older and become teens and young adults and even older than this. Actually, so to, the FFB begins to have a real choice as to whether they will stay on the derech or fall off. Let me make it easy for you, you're not missing anything, you really aren't. Ladies, drunk men trying to sleep with you? Nope, you are not missing anything.

Those Who Say Don't Marry a Ger/Gyoress

Well, over on the Daas Torah blog, he has posted the topic, "Should One's Child Marry a Ger?" and discussion has ensued. Arguments are being flung back and forth. The guest poster who wrote this has some concerns that I would agree are legitimate. However, some of the statements are outrageous. The comments get even more interesting.

First of all, she is worried that this person would fall off the derech. I think this is more likely with a BT because a convert has to fight so hard for their conversion. Second, she is worried that there will be questions about the Jewish status of the children, that they will be revoked. Ok, there may be problems with Eretz Yisrael, however, I think this is the minority of cases. Furthermore, I've heard of BTs getting hassled, too. Certain cities in EY are supposed to be more problematic in this regard. Third, Daas Torah adds that now one has to worry about upsetting their spouse with regards to the commandment to love a ger. Oh, come on! This is not what the Torah meant by love the ger. Normal lively discussions in the bais are to be expected. Intentionally not considering an otherwise compatible shidduch BECAUSE they are a ger/gyoress, however is not loving us.

The first comment on the post is by an Eddie who stuns the blogreaders with, "I do no wish to insult any Gerim, but a shiksa may come out of the mikveh Jewish, but her deep genetic character is still goyish..."  The blog owner chimes in with, "Are you saying that if one has a choice of marrying two women that one should give preference to the ger? The Torah says to love them - it doesn't say affirmative action is required."

Hmmm, that's funny, Eddie, because the way Hashems states in is "when a ger comes to convert" which is interpreted that the ger was meant to convert. As for Daas, now come on! Who really has such a choice to make with such perfect ceterus paribus? So don't go to a shadchan and ask for a ger but, agree to consider one. If a shadchan tells about someone and you suspect they are sending a convert to you because you agreed to consider one and not becauase it's a good match, you ask, "why is the person being suggested to me? I'm not hearing any common threads between us." I had a situation where the same shadchan kept suggesting over and over this same convert who was younger and wants a thin girl. I asked for older, up to ten years. Also, I'm not thin. I'm not fat, but I'm not thin, either.

I think, though, people have to start thinking about what's really important. This is not Subway. You can't stand there and tell them, "one of those, one of those, one of those, no-not that. one of those..." You think about what's important and you go from there. Incidentally, "stack or scrape?" is not important.

Apology from blog reader to me

Shalom Michal,


I received an email today from a reader of Daas Torah. He took me to task for 'savagely' tearing into you in the comments on the blog.

I know I have strongly disagreed with you. I even know that I have chastised you for some over-the-top statements and tone. I continue to disapprove of much of how you present your case; and disagree with some of the perception of the issues. For all that, I in no way meant or mean to demean you; and certainly I do not mean to 'savagely' tear into you. The sin is grave enough when done to any human being; and gravely compounded, as you know, when done to a convert.

Please accept my apology if I have embarrassed you or mistreated you privately or publicly. What's more, since the sin was done in public, I would appreciate it greatly if you would help me and post this on your blog. I will ask to do the same on Daas Torah, or at least in the comments there.

Sincerely,

mordechai scher

Where, oh where did the comment go?

There has been some discusion in the comments here on this blog about how the comments over at the Daas Torah blog, seem to disappear.  Someone posted a comment today about "this is an example of a disappearing comment...."

In my comment moderation form on my phone, all that came across was,

"this is an example of a disappearing comment...."
(lost comment)

So, thought the person was being funny. In reality, on my computer, the comment was longer. It was the comment in the post, "Daas Torah commenter demonstrates why I stay home for Shabbos" where someone talks about the Boro Park types getting only a religious marriage. The woman plays poor single mother to the system to get them benefits. Apparently, Daas didn't want to put this comment through.

Blog commenter makes it just too easy....

So, some of you have been following the posts with which I have been featured on the Daas Torah Blog. So, the comments in the latest segment are pretty hot. There are over a hundred comments right now.

This is the blog where this woman who calls herself "Jersey Girl" has told me that, ""My kids are growing up "out of town" as I also did so they have to know the laws of Bishul Akum. It is inevitable that they will be out somewhere and get hungry. here is a lot that, according to our Rabbis, one can eat from a non kosher deli/restaurant and my kids know what they can and cannot have. "

It turns out, she seems to think that anything that the laws of bishul akum permit cooking by a gentile can be eaten in a non-kosher restaurnt. I have instructed her to go and learn the laws of "notain ta'am." It's the middle of night in Israel and so, she has likely posted a response but the blog owner is likely sleeping and so, in the morning, he will go through any comments awaiting moderation and we shall see what she has to say about that. Actually, it's the middle of the night here and so, I must go visit the schluffy monster.

Daas Torah commenter demonstrating exactly why I stay home on Shabbos

So, I wrote this guest post for the Daas Torah blog (it was also posted here) discussing some of the examples of how I've been mistreated as a gyoress. One commenter in particular, did in the comments of the forum, what is done to me at a Shabbos table in front of several guests.

She started out trying to appear nice, "A few things that might help: 1. Instead of accepting Shabbat invites, perhaps you might consider making Shabbat and inviting others." Ok, but, who says I haven't done that?

Then she continued with, "The general perception, traditionally was that Shabbat invites were for travelers and others who are not capable of making Shabbat for themselves. When you accept Shabbat invites, you seem to give the impression that you are not accomplished enough in your own observance to make Shabbat preparations for yourself."

THERE IT IS!!! The crux of why I'm staying home is because I've realized that while I like to get out and meet new people.. well, I USED TO.. I see that people take this as an indication that they are doing me some big favor because I'm some kind of a nebach who can't cook for myself or doesn't know what I can and can't do with a blech and some food.

This woman went on to criticize that I didn't appreciate being grilled on a date to see if I really knew Jewish laws. She mentioned that her daughter was asked to take a psychological exam and apparently failed it. Oh, but, I thought her children were wonderful?

Regarding this issue, I think the point that I really should have stated in this last piece is that I'm offended that someone grills me when they were given three references to call. I know that he spoke with one of my rebbetzins. Additionally, I asked the boy POINT BLANK, if he would ask these questions of an FFB or if he was only doing it because I was a gyoress. At which point, he ADMITTED that he was indeed grilling me because I'm a gyoress. Essentially, he was expecting to find out I wasn't good enough. When he was not told this, he came to the date with a mindset to uncover it. Someone should not accept a date with someone if they are this set against it.

Anyhow, this woman just commented over and over again about how I don't know how to make Shabbos and that I'm not a real Jewish woman because "Jews MAKE Shabbat." Now, I don't understand. If I'm staying home, by myself, doesn't that mean I'm making Shabbos for myself? Or did she take the liberty of deciding that I'm breaking Shabbos? If it is the former that proves her comments were unnecessary. If it is the latter, then she is violating the commandment to judge favorably. Either way, she is wrong.

She went on to talk about her children and all the things that she says they know and do. She went on and on about how they just do so much chesed. I'm not really sure what her exact point was. However, it seems like this was supposed to add to her proof that I wasn't good enough to be Jewish.

When it came down to end of the comments, she said, "My kids are growing up "out of town" as I also did so they have to know the laws of Bishul Akum. It is inevitable that they will be out somewhere and get hungry. here is a lot that, according to our Rabbis, one can eat from a non kosher deli/restaurant and my kids know what they can and cannot have. "

At the point which I read this, I should be thanking Jersey Girl for the good hearty belly laugh she gave me. This is just how they are. This whole string of comments, she's commenting over and over again that I am not living up to the standards of FFBs. Yet, we see right here that she is not living up to the standards that a great beis din, like the one I went through, requires.

I wouldn't even ask my rabbi such a question but, I'm quite sure that if I posed this situation to him, that I need or wish to eat while I'm out in an area where there is no kosher restaurant, he would advise me to do what I already do: buy raw fruits/veggies or pre-packaged items with a hecsher from a grocery or drug store and eat them. There are too many issues that come with unsupervised open kosher food in a kitchen full of traif, I'm led to wonder what sort of "rabbis" this woman is consulting that they should suggest such a thing. Even the liberal Manhattan Modern Orthodox rabbis advise that you may only eat a small selection of COLD foods in a traif place.

Experiment in terminology distortion

I just conducted a little experiment in terminology distortion. That post I wrote about my negative Shabbos experiences was also guest-posted on Daas Torah blog. One commenter in particular, seems to be looking for excuses to say I'm not a real Jewess.

One of the items she honed in on was my not recognizing the term "bishul akum" when it was distorted. So, I asked on my Facebook status, "what is bishah lackum?" A guy recognized it RIGHT away. An FFB girl recognized it but, only knew it had to do with cooking. The other FFB girl didn't recognize it until she called me on the phone and I pronounced it. Then she knew what it was exactly. Finally, the messianic girl who was in the Army with a girl I trained with in the Army (we FB met over the status comments of the mutual friend) said that her rabbi didn't know what it was. However, Bishah, is apparently a city in the Middle East. Who knew?

Balancing the Scales: When the community has been fantastik to me....

Ok, so, I've been criticized that I don't offer enough of the positive experiences in my writings.

To launch this writing, I work for frum Jews in their homes. They have all been wonderful to me. I have not had any negative experiences when at any of their homes for Shabbos. Ok, one had a guest who was obnoxious, however, she and her husband stepped in and changed the subject-over and over again, I might add.. Mostly, though, the people I work for are not in the position to host me for Shabbos. One of the young kollel couples goes to her mother's house most every Shabbos.

Some of the perks these frum bosses have generously rendered include: bonuses for Purim, Pesach, Rosh Hashanah, my birthday and Chanukah, two very comfy barely used twin beds, use of the internet when my computer was down, washing a load of laundry for me when I didn't have time to get to the laundromat, occasional rides home from work, high end clothing that was in the gemach donation pile, extra copy of the megillah, free food up the wazooooo and finally, often being the people who restore my faith in the Jewish people. I might even be forgetting something.

Some kindnesses extended by other frum Jews include: rides to the store given by women who didn't even know me, more use of internet when my laptop bummed, some of the positive experiences that I have had in the community, offering a frozen chicken when I thought my Shabbos chicken was stolen out of my freezer, loaning of books, rides to the mikvah to toivel dishes, Shabbos leftovers, and finally, more encouragement when others have put me in the position to need it. Again, there may be something I'm missing here, as well.

In summary, there are, indeed, positive experiences to balance out the negative ones that I have cited in my previous writing. I have listed them above. Perhaps, I will even experience more, so that I can come and report them at a later time.

Curmudge is so cool!

She said "ger-dar." It's like Gaydar but for gerim to radar each other.

To be fair to Bee Zee....

Perhaps, his comments didn't blatantly say I was wrong. However, he kept mentioning that he has never seen anyone questioned or verbally cornered at a Shabbos table.

The originally article was me upset because someone who made discreet comments at a Shabbos table supporting the idea that converts, not conversion candidates but, CONVERTS, in other words, Jews can be questioned and watched for the rest of their lives. The person brought this up at the table full well knowing that I was a recent convert at the table. It seemed to me, this was brought up because of me. Furthermore, this same person wants to judge Tropper favorably. I find it annoying that someone feels they should judge Tropper favorably but, for any convert they should feel they get to "watch me" and they do. They watch converts intently and they grill us, waiting to find something so they can say we're not good enough to adorn the title JEW. THAT, is what bugs the stuffing out of me.

Bee Zee has mentioned over and over again that this doesn't happen in his neighborhood. I find that hard to believe. I really do. Perhaps, it's more like it happens and he is not aware of it. Unless Bee Zee is a convert himself, which my instincts don't think he is, then I can't imagine he would know how every convert in his neighborhood is treated.

How did you fair the other's holiday all around you?

Over at Frum Satire's blog, I see that he posted about how Xmas went for the readers. I thought that I would put my own response here on the blog.

I worked and to me Xmas came and went more so this year than any other year. It's my first year back in college so, I was pretty much studying for finals a lot and so, I didn't notice much except for the few times I went to the regular grocery store or the drug store and they had music playing. I live in a Jewish/Muslim neighborhood so there weren't TOOO aweful many decorations up.

Public figures and Lashon Hara...

I'm not approving the comment someone wants me to put up. They wrote out this long comment about how I have to stop "speaking lashon hara" about Ivanka Trump's conversion. Just as we are entitled to state what we think about politians, we are entitled to state what we think of any public figure. Furthermore, this person mentions that I shouldn't be telling people information that they don't already know. Well, I think most people already know that Ivanka doesn't dress tznius. I have nothing against her as a person. If she wanted to run around in her scantily clad outfits that would have been fine. I don't care what the non-Jews wear. However, she chose to convert Orthodox. If my friend who is a fan of hers and not Jewish thinks the conversion is a sham, and I want to post about that, I will. It's not Lashon Hara. As I stated, we are permitted to discuss public figures. Ask your rabbi if you're allowed to discuss the polititians, you are. Why? They are public figures. The rules surrounding discussing public figures are different.

Responding to an Ivanka Trump comment...

The following comment was posted on a Nov. post:
http://michalbasavraham.blogspot.com/2009/10/ivanka-trump-and-her-conversion-came-up.html
Anonymous said...
You should all be ashamed of yourselves. No matter what she wears, eats or whom she marries it is unimaginably difficult for ANYONE to defy the traditions with which they were raised (even if the extent of those traditions was an annual trip to the mall to sit on Santa's lap) for themselves LET ALONE for the person they love. Who are any of you to judge her commitment? Has any of you had the guts to stand up to your family, to the public, or your critics to do something so life-altering? You're all gross.


My response:
Michaltastik said...
Honey, I'm a convert myself. Another thing I don't think you understand is the Jewish religion doesn't support people converting for marriage but continuing in their old ways. As long as she doesn't dress Orthodox, she didn't change. How did she change?

Have we had the guts to stand up to our family to make a life-altering change. Well, my family's dead but, I had plenty of co-workers who had something to say about it. I'll bet they didn't make anti-semitic comments to Ivanka at the office.

An anti-Israel comment from a Jew...

If you look back to this September post, you will see a nasty little commment against Israel from someone who seems to be saying they are Jewish.

http://michalbasavraham.blogspot.com/2009/09/jews-who-rally-against-israel-what.html

The comment is as follows:
Anonymous said...
I really have an issue with anyone questioning someone elses Jewishness especially when either one of those ppl is a convert. The issue with Israel is long and complicated. According to your blog they were protesting the "State of Israel". Well from what I've heard and seen I question the "State of Israel" as well. I mean really, when Hashem promised us this land did He really intend that we should have prostitution and such there? Was that really the goal? After years of persecution and rejection of Jews all over the world that some should come to the Jewish homeland and still be rejected and persecuted by your own people? The "State of Israel" and state in which Israel is in is seriously flawed and you have no right to question anyone's Jewishness for speaking out.

And speaking of "handing it over to the Arabs", you do realize that we Jews got kicked out of Israel for disobeying G-d' commandments (baseless hatred and all that). In the meantime a new group of ppl happened on some empty land (pretty prime real estate as the Torah describes it) and made it their home. The Holocaust happens and the agreement is made to send us to Israel, completely disregarding the fact that ppl are already living there.

How would you feel after you moved into your new home and the government said " Now I know u found this place empty, and i know it technically didn't belong to anyone, and I know you've built your roots here and I know you've got no where else to go, but umm get out" Wouldn't you be pissed off? Wouldn't you "fight" for what you worked hard for? Would you hold at least a little grudge against the folks who took your home away?"

Now I'm not saying anyone is right or that anyone is wrong but there are always 3 sides to a story- yours, theirs and the truth


Michal responds here:
I'm sorry. Would you prefer that I get some born Jews to come and defend Israel because in your mind, you have decided that I'm not Jewish. When I say that they are not Jewish, I am not saying that they are halachically not Jewish. I don't have the ability to say that as you do not have the ability to say that about me just because I'm a gyoress. However, I will say this: to rally against the state of Israel is unJewish in the way that burning an American flag is unAmerican.

As for the state not being perfect, well no, at this time, it is not. However, fighting each other is not the way bring Moshiach and the perfect state of Israel. We have to appreciate the imperfect Israel, lest Hashem should find us unworthy of the Perfect State of Israel.

Can we reduce the number of Anonymous comments?

I saw on one of the blogs I read where the author asked people to post their names or come up with an alias. Some of you have done this but, I thought I would mention again that it's nice when a person can tell that comments came from the same person.... We have the Curmudgedly Gyoret. We have the Australian... We had Vox Populi until I stopped posting his commentss... hehehe..

Query, waiting for an answer...

http://michalbasavraham.blogspot.com/2009/06/thou-shalt-not-oppress-ger-or-should.html?showComment=1246329223768#c7345431733563486695


People are still discussing this link. Incidentally, if you look at the comments on this post, you will see that this "query yid" states, "When you are interested or not I am sincerely sorry for how you’ve been treated. And I never said I would justify how you or anyone else was treated but I can explain WHY! And the WHY is halachicly based and practiced by the majority of Orthodox!"


So Query Yid, I'm still waiting for this halachic reason to be downright nasty to someone who has already converted. Perhaps, this Query Yid is talking about those who are still in the process. If you're talking about dissuasion, that should not apply to someone who is already converted. I guess you're using a different Torah because the Jewish Torah says to love the ger over and over and over and over again.