Well, over on the Daas Torah blog, he has posted the topic, "Should One's Child Marry a Ger?" and discussion has ensued. Arguments are being flung back and forth. The guest poster who wrote this has some concerns that I would agree are legitimate. However, some of the statements are outrageous. The comments get even more interesting.
First of all, she is worried that this person would fall off the derech. I think this is more likely with a BT because a convert has to fight so hard for their conversion. Second, she is worried that there will be questions about the Jewish status of the children, that they will be revoked. Ok, there may be problems with Eretz Yisrael, however, I think this is the minority of cases. Furthermore, I've heard of BTs getting hassled, too. Certain cities in EY are supposed to be more problematic in this regard. Third, Daas Torah adds that now one has to worry about upsetting their spouse with regards to the commandment to love a ger. Oh, come on! This is not what the Torah meant by love the ger. Normal lively discussions in the bais are to be expected. Intentionally not considering an otherwise compatible shidduch BECAUSE they are a ger/gyoress, however is not loving us.
The first comment on the post is by an Eddie who stuns the blogreaders with, "I do no wish to insult any Gerim, but a shiksa may come out of the mikveh Jewish, but her deep genetic character is still goyish..." The blog owner chimes in with, "Are you saying that if one has a choice of marrying two women that one should give preference to the ger? The Torah says to love them - it doesn't say affirmative action is required."
Hmmm, that's funny, Eddie, because the way Hashems states in is "when a ger comes to convert" which is interpreted that the ger was meant to convert. As for Daas, now come on! Who really has such a choice to make with such perfect ceterus paribus? So don't go to a shadchan and ask for a ger but, agree to consider one. If a shadchan tells about someone and you suspect they are sending a convert to you because you agreed to consider one and not becauase it's a good match, you ask, "why is the person being suggested to me? I'm not hearing any common threads between us." I had a situation where the same shadchan kept suggesting over and over this same convert who was younger and wants a thin girl. I asked for older, up to ten years. Also, I'm not thin. I'm not fat, but I'm not thin, either.
I think, though, people have to start thinking about what's really important. This is not Subway. You can't stand there and tell them, "one of those, one of those, one of those, no-not that. one of those..." You think about what's important and you go from there. Incidentally, "stack or scrape?" is not important.