Monday, February 8, 2010

What else you got?

The problem with the shidduch crisis cannot be solved by shadchans offering matches that are closer in age because the men want such insane age gaps. In order to fix this, they are going to have to change the mind set of the men. The men have dating ADHD. They always want something new. They just want to see choice after choice. I was talking to the hillel rebbetzin today who has been doing shidduchim and she says the men just turn down woman after woman. Even a pretty girl, they will turn down. I know with me, they ask stupid questions and then find some reason to turn me down. When I was in the gentile market, I was beating men off me with a stick. Now... well, forget it.


  1. "...because the men want such insane age gaps."

    In general, I do not think that anyone refers to the older and unmarried when talking about the shidduch crisis. In my perception, it generally refers (at least within my community) to the group of unmarried people that are below thirty. That being said, I don't think that a guy below thirty can honestly ask for a huge age gap, as that would mean him asking to marry someone who is 14 or so...

  2. This may be true, although from a man's perspective, I found that the women would agree to go on one date and I would never hear from them again. Is it acceptable to never respond, even to say "I'm not interested?" Those who did are much more respected by me than the women who promised to be in touch and from whom I never heard again- still would be waiting if I hadn't BH found my basheret. Love to hear opinions on this.

  3. Hi Michal,
    I found your blog via frum satire (we both posted about the bad last name issue) and I'm looking forward to reading more. In terms of the shidduch crisis issue, I'm sure it must be so difficult for you due to the closed mindedness of so many frum people. Don't give up though, not everyone is like that! My shidduch crisis is that i have so many strikes against me: divorced, older, and bt.