Friday, April 15, 2011

Responding to the comments on the last post

Well, I personally have been to Hineni lectures, all of twice. However, there's a certain type of man who haunts these "singles" lectures and such looking for women extremely young. Another friend who is a convert, I took her for Shabbos to someone and she tells me when we are safely in the guest room, "what's with these loser men like the type you always see at Aish?"

It's absolutely true that no one will say anything to these men. They will run around as loser pigs chasing after young girls. When complain about these men, we are told to "be good" and "be nice." I am not good and nice to people that intentionally harass me. I've had situations like the poster's happen to me. I was not as nice as she was. Perhaps it is because I have looked like a teenager since I was one and I get harassed. Men pull what they think they can get away with and then some. As someone who has had an interest in Psychology and took some extra classes while thinking about majoring in it, I know that men are taught to really go out there and get what they want. Women are more told to wait and hope. Men ask us out. Nice girls don't ask guys out and "men don't like assertive women." As my acquaintance from school instructed me in something I already knew, men want what they want and if they don't want you, there's not a thing in the world you can do about it. Women are stuck, supposed to take what we can get, greatful for any "scraps." How much worse it is in the Jewish world and we are pressured to take the most disgusting. As a convert, I'd better dare not think of taking someone decent, he is reserved for their daughters, sisters, cousins, etc. If the Bukharian with thick accent, right off the boat with grandkids back home wants me, by golly, I should be greatful.
Judaism claims to put women on a pedestal. They claim we are "exempt from davening because" we are "closer to Hashem."

Actions speak louder than words. They pressure women to become what men want NOT the other way around. They pressure women converts to take what they never would have considered before conversion.

I wanted to be closer to Hashem, so I wanted to be a part of a religion that shares my core beliefs. Sure, they dunked me, but I've never been let in and I'm reminded every time I turn around that I'm not welcomed as a Jew. I ask myself over and over again, why did I do this? Was it really worth it?
I haven't had quite as rough of an experience as my guest poster. I've had more dates than she has, guys pick me up and take me to reasonable places and no one has ever pulled that forgetting the wallet routine on me. Though, I had one guy who didn't have any cash for the tip and I paid that. On a second date or later, that's fine but I was a little miffed because it was a first date and he HAD met in person at school, actually.

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