Thursday, April 7, 2011

To wish upon a skin... part three

Guest post by anonymous... continued

In the past year I've made more effort to go to more events going out of town, even sponsoring a few, asking more people to help, only to not get a single date. I had more dates when I was first converted and younger, but it was more of the same expeiences.

So it's not a NYC thing, I go to other events in the Northeast, fly to Florida, west coast, and it's the ffb skin that wins, not convert modesty. In the rest of my life, I'm successful and happy. Yet, the stigma of a convert and my competing with skin is a losing battle in wanting to find a life partner.

Yet, I suppose I should feel all warm and fuzzy that at least I'm modest, upholding halacha and alone. While the girls that bend the rules are rewarded with having the time of their life and they do get married. It is time I give up on ever getting married since no one wants to consider a convert, and the ones that will are very old or otherwise gross. OK I know as a convert, I'm going to get tons of mussar and a re-explaining of the halacha that I already know on proper dressing. Also told to daven more and give more charity (which I do) or volunteer (I deliver meals, go to nursing home weekly, soup kitchen twice a month).

I'll also be warned not to be jealous of other girls getting nice treatment. I do wish those women the best, but I don't see how I should be supportive of their breaking halacha and tzniut standards and getting rewarded for it with male attention and shul leadership turning a blind eye their way (but critical of me if I don't accept every last chumrot). Then the girls bragging to me about perks I've never had. Meanwhile, I follow halacha and get ignored.

Yes I know there's tons of books and shuirim on the subject for encouragement. I've read them and gone to speakers. Honestly though. men need them more than I do--their attention to showing skin off and ignoring the properly dressed woman is what fuels this. Reading more on modesty just upsets me because I don't see it practiced. The ravs and rebetzins that promote this @#$%^ are all married, generally young at that, and likely didn't have any dating difficulties. It's no issue for them to promote tzniut, in fact they don't want their male family members tarnished by inappropriate women. But really those ravs and rebbetzins as long as their books sell couldn't care less about modest women and their challenges.


  1. Chaim1 says
    MO girls of course are no different to shiksas according to our orthodox beliefs. Read curious Jew about Stern college where they go with pants. You want an MO husband and dont want to go dressed as a shiksa. We dont wear denim either its considered 'cheap' in more ways than one. When will you realise that MO dont keep tsnius at all.

  2. Michal--I didn't know your bridge needed a troll.
    Chaim1--This young lady DOES dress modesly. Why can't she get a decent man?
    OP--Unfortunately, yeshiva boys and men on the younger end of the spectrum still can't see past the glitzy wrapping. That's why I married an older man.

  3. chaim1 says
    who is the troll you are talking about.
    You seem to even get your name on google when no one else does for every post you write. We all know by now you married an older man, you have mentioned it enough times, is it really that trolling to keep repeating it. Or is it to make poor michal feel even worse that she cant even get an older man.
    If you would read my post instead of trolling you would realise why she cant get a man. She wants an MO and doesnt realise she has to dress like a Jewish shiksa to get one.

  4. Ow!!! My belly hurts from laughing so hard at YOU Chaim1!!! You are the TROLL-my most obnoxious commenter are you!

    If I wanted a dirty old man, I could find one. Aztec isn't making me feel bad. She'd be more than happy to offer to set me up with her husband's friends. I'm not interested in that club.

    Now, Chaim1, get back under your own bridge!!!!

  5. Troll,
    Madame Aztec's husband is not gross. Now, I hear your bridge calling you.