Those dating experiences were really bad. You are an attractive person and interesting and smart. You do not need to be taking a bus to meet some loser! Do you think maybe you need to expand the scope of men a little more? I'm thinking of a professor I know at -edit out area college other than my own-
hahaha, I have to tell her not to bother. He'll just look at her like, "silly shiksa trying to help someone. Converts aren't real Jews." However, he'll smile real nice and tell her he'll let her know if he thinks of anyone. Maybe he'll offer a man who turns out to be blind or a 50 year old who does not have a job and lives with his mother which he would, of course paint to me as charming and wonderful.
i think if you do things you enjoy doing you will meet Jewish men. maybe they don't always have to be orthodox?
I've tried Conservative/Conservadox. They also look down on me as a convert but this baffles me since these men will go out and date a non-Jewish woman and bring her in for a conversion.
i could try to ask some people i know if they know anyone. what are you looking for in terms of the man's background, etc.?
Look at that, she isn't Jewish and she knows about the almighty "background" question. She's not as out of the loop as a born Jew would see her as.
What about men that are outside the US? Canada, Europe, Israel? Maybe if you have broader scope you will at least start meeting more interesting people.
I have actually recently started considering guys I wouldn't have before, like Israelis. Though, I don't even do out of town like my guest poster does. The Jewish population is roughly split in three. A third in the NYC area, a third in Israel and a third everywhere else. If I can't find someone in the NYC area, then I can imagine that I'm in trouble.
If you fall in love with someone he or you can relocate.
fall in love? Oy, now she's back not understanding Jewish ways. I'm actually dead set on not leaving NYC. I'm studying for a field that primarily exists in NYC.
I think an excellent place to meet men would be graduate school. Half the students will be male, a lot single and some will be around your age.
Now she's got it again. Though, I think men my age are already married.
Men who are recently divorced with a child or two would be good people to look at, serioius about remarrying and probably more honest and straightforward with less time to waste.
I thought the same thing, but have found they aren't so serious. There's one guy I went on one date with but I see him in FB chat as online all the time and I'm not going to be the one initiating chat with him all the time, so I stopped. He never chats me anymore so I take it he's not interested, or at least not interested ENOUGH.
what hobbies or activities do you really like?
A lot! Going to the gym, art (drawing and computer art)... when I was in the Army we all went bowling all the time... I like intellectual stuff, too.
you want to meet someone interested in at least the same types of things. Are you interested in learning a language?
LOL!!! I was originally a double major Spanish/French.
Maybe join a penpal or language club where you can exchange letters with others. I have a friend who met her husband that way learning italian. he was italian and living in london. he ended up transferring his job to usa and they are married. they got to know each other over a year like that. writing. doesn't mean you can't still meet others but maybe finding something like that where you can exchange information and interest around a certain topic will allow you to meet more interesting people. i think you should identify these kinds of areas of potential interest and then be active. be on linked in and participating in groups and discussions. start to meet a broader range of men. don't worry at first if they are jewish or not.
The poster actually does all kinds of things like volunteering and such, it doesn't work.
it woudn't be bad to know people and develop friendships. these people can introduce you to jewish guys. and someone could convert.
She has no idea of the hoops one jumps through to convert.
or if he wasn't jewish would it be the end of the world? as for modesty, follow your own beliefs. you are attractive and you don't have to be showing off in that way. a nice guy will recognize that and appreciate your values. that is my preliminary advice.
I agree with that. I'm too pretty to dress like a whore to get a guy. Futhermore, I dated MUCH better guys before I converted. Most were only interested in sex not a relationship. Though, I'm finding the same thing in the Jewish world. Since I converted, I've only dated one or two guys who both didn't live at home AND had a job. I'm not looking at yeshivish but the guys I've been set up with usually don't work. The last date I had, the guy had a disability. The girl didn't tell me about his disability, but told him that I was a convert. "Why did you convert?" came out of his mouth before we even got to the counter to order. He didn't have a job but instead spent his days "volunteering."
Hey, if I have to make good money because it takes two incomes, how come all the men don't have a job and I'm supposed to support them? Women make "pin money" as we discussed earlier on the blog here.