Saturday, April 23, 2011

Where Have All Our Middos Gone?

I'm trying to reseach for my research methods class and I ran across this article. I totally agree with this woman, but what do I know? I'm not a real Jew. I'm gyoress. I wasn't properly acculturated to be rude.


  1. "I'm not a real Jew, I'm a giyores" - I'll assume you're being sarcastic, the first Jews were gairim. Have a fun Pesach and don't let anyone knock you for earning the right to be Jewish.

  2. Yes, sarcastic. FFBs act like they are the greatest thing on earth. If you're not an FFB, they give you this "you don't know what you're talking about" when it comes to everything, but especially everything Jewish. If I were to tell them how out of line they are with their middos, they would be thinking, "what does this convert know? That's so cute that this Shiksa thinks she knows X. Who does she think she is."

    The same goes for BTs and out of towners. That's right even an FFB out of towner... what do you know? you're not a real Jew, you didn't even grow up in Brooklyn... while we're at it, ditto for Queens.

    Actually, I find people to be nicest in Kew Gardens and Kew Gardens Hills, though, they could use some work, too. It probably has to do with the high number of BTs and out of towners.

  3. I have a friend who's even off the derech who does this to me.

  4. This is long winded anony... don't you know converts are only Jews when it comes to responsibilities, not for any real community purposes like shidduchim or hospitiality.

    I love how people will say how wonderful, special, beautiful, etc. converts, pointing out the converts in the Bible. But they won't date them or don't want them in their family (unless the guy is dating a non-Jew), or won't help set them up except with dirty old creeps that we should feel grateful for. Maybe if one is lucky, one might get hospitality, but don't hold breath.

    Had this happen over Passover last days. A newish in town friend and I didn't have meal plans for last days lunches so we agreed to do light meals together. As people were assembling after services, a woman approaches my friend ask if she has meal plans. Friend said we were just doing something together, and tried to introduce me to the woman. The woman snapped, that she's met me before, and would my friend like to come for that meal? I was happy my friend declined, but that stung.

    I realize maybe the woman didn't have room for 2 extra guests, but why continue to extend the invite, realizing the convert is going to be eating alone AGAIN.

  5. long winded again:
    I recall reading this when it first came out. Thanks for refreshing my memory. I so identify with many of the situations. The men that squish women out of the way. Usually they are large men, and I doubt they rub up to other men that way. Unfortunately come across that alot at Chabad and in midtown restuarants. Large men don't want to be between two women in line citing that halacha. Instead of excusing theirselves, waiting until the women pass through, or even asking to go in front, some men just shove woman out of the way or I've had a powerful elbow in the chest area, OUCH! Thankfully there are people that are mensches.

    My pet peeve is the kiddush hogs. They run to be first in line (which is fine) then they position theirselves right in front of the particularly tasty food to have a lengthy conversation about nothing. They get annoyed with people reaching around if that's possible or bumping them. I've purposely gone to find a seat first to wait for the madness to die out a bit. Only to find the jacket I used to mark the seat was taken was thrown on the floor and seat occupied.

    A few months ago, I sponsored nice snacks at a co-ed Torah lecture (pizza, salad, drinks, light dessert). Average size crowd, should have had 2 slices each for everyone. Some men were taking 3-4 even saw 5 slices at one time when people behind them were also wanting pizza. I did get a little piece with most of the cheese ripped off. Good amount of salad was left. I was disgusting that some of the pizza hogged went right into the trash can because they didn't like it.