One of my FB friends has a status up whereas, some man told her his wife does do this that at the other thing for him. She feels BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD for him. I tried to explain to her what was going on.
Please read this. It's important.
THIS is a commom scam, if you will, that men use on women. They try to make you feel bad for them. The next step is he will act like it's so bad he might get divorced. He will work this and make you FEEEEEEEEEEEL bad for him. If you were to insist that he divorce her and marry you before he lays a hand on you.... He... See More will have a fit and tell you his wife is wonderful and HOW DARE YOU suggest such a thing. Suddenly, he will admit that really she is wonderful and does all the things above and more. He is in fact a douchebag who can't keep it in his pants and cheats on her using this scam to reel his playthings in. Meanwhile, she is home tending to the kids, cooking, cleaning and trying to look pretty for him.
I repeat, the whole thing is a lie. One should not believe everythign they are told-especially by a man who obviously wants a little extra.... Well, as a 34 year old woman, it's incredibly obvious to me, as I've seen this one too many times before. You are younger and you aren't used to married men...
When a man tells you this stuff, you should tell him it's inappropriate for him to tell you this. Use your brains: he is speaking lashon hara about the woman he's supposed to be devoted to. What does that make him? (Ahem, a douchebag.) If he needs to speak to someone, it should be:
1) his wife
2) his rabbi
3) a professional counselor...
4) NOOOOOOOOOT you!
Rabbi Wallerstein always talks about this stuff. He sees it a lot where married men come to a married woman they work with and state that she has such a good marriage and he doesn't, "can you help me?"
The answer is: "no, this is not my place."
Also, men will come to women at work and argue with them/play their sympathy about Judaism requires Jews to date Jews. We're racist, right? That's what they say. I usually tell them, "well, I wouldn't consider a Jew who doesn't keep Shabbos and Kosher so, you see that it's not a race thing. It's a religion thing. I'm only looking for something compatible. Someone who doesn't keep Shabbos and Kosher is not compatible. Non-Jews donnot do this."
Ok, I have to get back to my accounting...